Tuesday, May 12, 2020

PLAGUE REPORT UPDATE FROM STOCKTON

by Bob Walsh

I had some legit errands to run Monday. I finally got Sutter Gould to schedule me for a cortisone injection. Trouble is, they wouldn't let ortho do it. It had to be my GP. Now, the ortho guy is a Physician's Assistant who does it all day. He has a very good touch. I was afraid maybe my GP wasn't as good. I was right, He wasn't. He wasn't HORRIBLE, but the first ten seconds was very, very unpleasant. He was surprised. (Maybe I am indeed oversensitive and the two cans of green death and two Percocet just weren't enough to take the edge off. My GF tells me all the time I am too sensitive. I usually tell her to shut the fuck up or I will kick her face in when she says that. Who says I am too fucking sensitive.)

My 30+ year old Admiral washing machine took a dump this morning. It would fill and agitate but not go beyond that on all three cycles. It is so old the timer switch is totally unavailable. So I figured I would take off the electrical cover and spray the crap out of it with electrical cleaner-lubricant. However, before I did that I thought I would try a bit of Irish Conflict Resolution. (Take a club and beat the living shit out of it.) On the third thump is started, and I ran three full loads thru it with zero problem. I will spend the $600 on a gun instead. Though it might be better if I just bought the machine. It turns out the pipeline is getting real thin right now. Almost all of the machines that show up are sold before they are unloaded. Factories are operating at minimum.

Every tard who got their license from a corn flakes box was on the road today. Some asshole honked at me because he didn't know that it was a double lane left turn lane and he freaked when I turned beside him. I helpfully suggested he sodomize himself with his horn button.

I also stopped by the feed store and got some dog food for the four legged self-propelled security system. I got the last large bag of my favorite that was on the shelf. (Diamond brand. Locally made, zero advertising. Good stuff. Decent price.) All three of the critters like it.

Went to dismount the front seats on my Saturn so I could put on my new heavy-duty saddle blanket seat covers and discovered they use a bastard bolt head. Fortunately I have just about every such thing known to man, except probably Whitworth wrenches. It is something called an E-Socket, size 10. I hate borrowing or renting tools, unless they are hella expensive I just buy the damn things.

Retail is opening up more. Gun stores are getting a little looser, though Harbor Freight is now clocking the customer load into the store. Life is a bitch sometimes.

(I heard Trump sicced ICE on Obama's Portuguese Water Dog. Claimed it was an undocumented Democrat. I somehow doubt that's true, but you never know. I think Glen Beck said that. But I could be wrong.)

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