The Defense Department takes every citizen complaint seriously. Here is the letter a San Francisco woman received from the Pentagon after she expressed her concern over the treatment of detained terrorists at Guantanamo.
DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE
The Pentagon
Washington, DC
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda and RADICAL ISLAMIC terrorists captured by American Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the GITMO.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here at the Pentagon. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Defense Department to be called 'Shelter and Help an Islamic Terrorist' or SHIT for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, for those terrorists' personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in San Francisco next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers (and maybe even personal body guards - at your own expense.)
Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up with child proof locks, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country. (For you safety we have alerted all of the Starbucks in the greater San Francisco area to be on alert in case you want to bring him in for a double monicino latte.)
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.
You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of respecting his culture and religious beliefs as described in your letter.
You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to American culture.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,
Captain John R. Michaelson, Information Officer
Department of Defense
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