by Bob Walsh
Bernie Sanders has just announced that, if he is elected, he will release all secret information that the government now holds regarding UFOs and the presence of aliens on our planet.
Clearly the massive numbers of UFO / Conspiracy buffs will now push Bernie over the top. Unless of course the CIA / Alien mind control techs manage to get ahead of it.
How come I have this headache? Why is my mind feeling so fuzzy? What is that funny sound? Must not push SEND button. AHHHH. Look out. They are after us. AHHHRRRG.
EDITOR'S NOTE: As a longtime member of the International Society of Flat Earthers, I am now inclined to vote for Bernie. If he's elected all the rest of you will finally learn that the earth is really flat.
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