Sunday, April 16, 2017

TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL PLAYER’S HAND JOB NOT THE BEST WAY TO STOP ITCH IN FRONT OF WOMEN

Aggie Football Player Blames "Jock Itch" After Exposing Himself to Two Tutors

By Zach Despart | Houston Press | April 14, 2017

After a sophomore receiver on the Texas A&M football team was accused of exposing his genitals twice to female tutors, he offered an explanation that stretches the bounds of credulity — that he had a case of jock itch.

Never mind that Kirk Merritt exposed his penis to two separate tutors, who were women, on separate occasions within 24 hours, the Houston Chronicle first reported Friday. And never mind that Merritt chose to ignore options other than exposing himself, including:

1. Excusing himself from the lesson to relieve his jock itch.
2. Simply not scratching his genitals in front of his tutor.
3. Scratching his genitals in the presence of his tutor without exposing them.

And a victim's description of the incident to police leaves doubt as to the jock itch theory. Here's this doozy of a paragraph from the Chronicle:

The first victim claimed Merritt put his hands in his shorts and followed with a "rhythmic up and down motion" until his penis was "exposed over the top of his elastic banded athletic shorts."

He then continued to rub himself until the tutor, understandably aghast, ended the lesson.

The description from the second victim is no less horrifying. She described seeing Merritt's shorts pulled down and "his penis was in his left hand in plain sight."

That tutor skedaddled, too.

Both tutors reported the incidents to campus police. Merritt faces charges of indecent exposure in Brazos County.

But he practiced with the Aggies last week; a school disciplinary body concluded Merritt's actions constituted disorderly conduct, but that he did not take sexual advantage of the women.

Head football coach Kevin Sumlin has yet to comment on the Merritt case. We have asked the Texas A&M athletic department for comment and will update when we hear back.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Some comments.

Zach, don’t hold your breath waiting to hear back from the Aggie athletic department.

“He did not take sexual advantage of the women.” Now that was mighty white of him. I suppose that’s why Merritt is still on the Aggie football team and not in jail.

An athletic scholarship has many perks, including free tutors to help pass the courses being taken by functionally illiterate ‘student athletes’ who didn’t bother to study while in high school.

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