Friday, June 19, 2020

I HOPE YOU ALL REMEMBER TO SACRIFICE A CAT TOMORROW

by Bob Walsh

Tomorrow, at about 2:48 p.m. in Stockton, the Summer Solstice will occur.  Since time immemorial civilized people have recognized Midsummer Day.  I happen to know that the Sun God hates cats and they are therefore appropriate sacrifices.  It does not have to be fancy, anything that will spill blood into the ground.  A 12-gauge will do it, or an ax or a baseball bat.  You can be creative.  

Theoretically you should roll your lazy ass out of bed and make your sacrifice at dawn, but if you are a true lazy ass you can go ahead and do it at the time of the actual Solstice.  Don't forget to make the time correction if you go that way,  Unless you live right on the meridian the correct time will be off a bit one way or the other.  

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