DEAR STONER

Stoner will answer any question a pothead may have

By Herbert Fuego

Houston Press
August 19, 2016

Dear Stoner: I just got some pot brownies, and I’m not planning to ingest them for two weeks. Do you think the potency will still be the same, and if they’ll be okay to eat? Can I heat them up if they go hard?
Tasnim

Dear Tasnim: We’ve talked to multiple cannabis bakeries and kitchens about the shelf life of edibles, and all of them have said that edibles are pretty hard to tarnish in terms of potency, so two weeks definitely wouldn’t be long enough to harm your brownies. The “normal” ingredients in them are what you need to worry about, because they’ll decay much faster on your kitchen counter than THC would. Throw the brownies in the freezer if you’re scared of spoilage, but that’s just to fend off mold, not THC degradation. Freezing definitely beats food poisoning — and what a waste of pot that would be!

Take care when heating up frozen edibles — which usually have the texture of cold turds — as THC will slowly start to fade at temperatures over 200 degrees Fahrenheit (and die altogether at 392 degrees Fahrenheit). But most microwaves don’t take food above 212 degrees, so there shouldn’t be any noticeable difference in potency after the short 15 seconds it takes to warm your brownie. Throw a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top or wash it down with a fatty glass of whole milk to increase the effects.

Dear Stoner: I saw a home brewer make his own herbal tincture with sage and vodka, and it looked pretty easy. Is making marijuana tinctures pretty much the same thing?
Lazlo

Dear Lazlo: Pretty much! Submerge your ground herb in a jar full of vodka or some other grain alcohol and put it in a cool, dark space for a couple of months, and the alcohol will suck in the flavors and cannabinoids of the plant. When the time comes, strain out the plant matter, and your pot tincture will be ready to go. But don’t expect it to taste like the sweetened stuff you find in dispensaries, which is usually made from flavored vegetable glycerin and is intended for application under the tongue. Marijuana tincture made with alcohol is supposed to be added to hot beverages for drinking, because its THC requires heat to activate the psychoactive effects. It will also scorch your tongue’s undercarriage worse than any cheap bourbon ever could.

Dear Stoner: I hate dry pot. My roommate says he puts his on the bathroom counter, turns the shower on hot and lets the steam bring it back to life. Thoughts?
Monte

Dear Monte: Few things are worse than pinching a bud and seeing it crumble to dust — as so many of your dreams have. But cheer up: We’re here to help. First, dump whoever is selling you withered pot. If you need to resuscitate some dying nugs, though, don’t use the shower method. It’s not a bad idea in theory, but I’ve heard stories of mold appearing after this procedure. Besides, there are other options that use much less water.

Skin your favorite citrus and put a few of the peels in a jar (no bags) with the dry herb for a day, shaking the jar every few hours and burping it for fresh air. Or substitute slices of bread, lettuce leaves or tortillas for the citrus; they’ll do the same trick and won’t add a fruity flavor. You should only need a little of whatever you’re using; check the buds frequently to make sure they’re not getting too wet. My favorite method is to throw one or two fresh, damp buds in with the dry ones and let them spread the moisture.

Keep trying until you find a system that works for you.

Dear Stoner: What are some ways to puff during the day without making my room smell like a ganja bomb? The A/C is on, and I don’t want to open the windows until it cools down outside. P.S.: I swear I’m not at my mom’s.
Dre

Dear Dre: Anyone who has seen Next Friday has probably tried blowing smoke into a vacuum for shits and gigs. As much as I’d like to say it works, it doesn’t. Most tokers know that the classic way to sneak a hit or two in closed quarters is with the smoke buddy: a toilet paper roll with a dryer sheet wrapped around the end. It won’t cover the smell enough to go unnoticed in a room with zero ventilation, but you won’t need a window open much longer than it takes to blow the smoke out — unless wind is blowing the air inside, in which case you’re fucked.

Vaporizing herb, dabbing and hitting vape pens are all ways to consume that smell much less potent or create smells that stick around for a shorter time than smoking. So you could try one of those, or just buck up and deal with the heat.

Have a question for our Stoner? E-mail marijuana@westword.com or call the potline at 303-293-2222.