Wednesday, April 9, 2014

FORGET GUN CONTROL, WE NEED KNIFE CONTROL!

19 Pennsylvania high school students stabbed or slashed by student running amok with two knives

By Adolf der Schweinehund

On Wednesday morning, a student ran amok carrying two knives at Franklin Regional High School in Muryssville, Pennsylvania, stabbing and slashing 19 other students in the school’s classrooms and hallways before being subdued by school personnel. Several of the students were critically injured.

Responding to Wednesday morning’s Pennsylvania knife attack, NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo warned the same thing could happen in the state of New York . “There are currently few knife controls in effect,” said the governor, “So it’s time for gun control advocates to turn their attention to knives. Attorney General Eric Schneiderman and I will be getting together next week to work on a plan that will restrict knife ownership and help keep the citizens of this great state from getting stabbed.”

President Obama released the following statement: "I am deeply saddened by the tragic events at Franklin Regional High School. My heart goes out to the students who were wounded and to their families. Michelle and I are praying for their speedy and complete recovery. I have just instructed Attorney General Eric Holder to take whatever steps are necessary to keep knives out of the hands of minors, the mentally ill, persons convicted of domestic violence and ex-convicts.”

Rachel Goldberg, president of Teachers United Against Brutality (TUAB), held a news conference in Berkeley, California during which she reminded reporters that there are stabbings nationwide every day. “People with mental problems should not be permitted to buy or own knives,” she said, “and no one under 18 should be permitted to buy or own a knife either.”

San Francisco Police Chief Chief Greg Suhr told KRON-TV 4, “We could easily have a stabbing here like the one in Pennsylvania. There needs to be a concealed carry licensing system for knives the same as for guns. And we must be as restrictive in issuing those licenses as we are with guns.”

Knife enthusiasts were quick to attack the calls for knife controls.

In a news release, Rod Bremer, president of the American Knife & Tool Institute (AKTI) warned that any restrictions against knife ownership would violate our Second Amendment rights. “The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution protects the rights of citizens to keep and bear arms,” said Bremer. “And nowhere in that document does it say that arms apply only to firearms.”

Former defense secretary and CIA director Robert Gates, who will become president of the Boy Scouts of America next month, released the following statement from Williamsburg, Virginia: “I am opposed to any haphazard knife controls. Prohibit knife ownership by minors? Have they lost their minds? As president-elect of the Boy Scouts, I must remind all Americans that the Boy Scout Knife has been an integral part of the scout uniform since the founding of this great youth organization in 1910.”

Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson, holding up his brand new Kershaw Knife, told The Unconventional Gazette, “I’ll give you my knife when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!”

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