WEIRD STUFF

by Bob Walsh

I picked up a local fish wrapper during my stay-over in Red Bluff last night. It was mostly entertainment news and announcements, but there were two pages of stuff called NEWS OF THE WEIRD. I have written up a brief summary of some of the best ones for your edification.

Patricia Ann Hill, 69,. of White Hall, Arkansas, called the cops to tell them she had just shot her husband Frank, age 65. The S.O. determined that old Frank had ordered up the porn channel on Dish. When Patricia cancelled it and told him if he started it up again he would have to leave he did not listen. He also would not leave so she shot him. Twice. Killed him dead.

Pavel Malveed, 15, of Mogochino, Russia, was so bummed out by losing a video game that he went out in the yard, fired up a chain saw and cut his own head off. That is dedication.

A woman, not named, was driving down the road thru Columbia Park, Washington when she saw an injured beaver by the side of the road. She wrapped it up in a towel and drove home to get a box to transport the critter in. She returned 1/2 hour later and discovered Richard Delp, 35, fucking the beaver. She called the cops. They arrested him for beaver fucking and possession of meth. The beaver didn't make it.

The Shelby County (Tennessee?) school board is looking for a temporary school for 800 kids. During renovation of a school the workers found a good size rat's nest. They trapped about 80 rats and then put out poison. The rats started cashing out within the walls about the time the kids came back to school. After a few days the stench was so bad they had to shut the school down.