By Bob Walsh
Various broadcast news outlets are reporting today a number of poisonings, including at least two deaths, due to a do-it-yourself concoction known popularly as Dew-Shine.
Dew-Shine is a mixture of Mountain Dew and racing fuel. It is drunk mostly by redneck teenage boys who are really, really stupid. The principle ingredient of racing fuel is Methyl Alcohol, often with a little nitro-benzine thrown in. It will get you drunk, just before you DIE. Methyl Alcohol and Ethyl Alcohol are NOT the same thing. This shit WILL KILL YOU.
So, as a public service for all the not-too-bright teenage boys out there, stick to mixing your Mountain Dew with Everclear or a decent vodka. If you are lucky and don’t do anything else stupid you will probably survive that experience.
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