Clifford Ray Jones was driving along in Detroit while watching porn and beating his meat when suddenly his car had an orgasm and ejected his naked ass out through the sunroof
BarkGrowlBite | January 28, 2016
The Michigan State Police investigated a fatal traffic accident that occurred at 3:30 a.m. Sunday in Detroit.
It seems as though a 1966 Toyota had an orgasm because Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was driving while watching porn on his cellphone and beating his meat. The car got so excited that it lost control and threw Jones, who was naked from the waist down and not wearing a seat belt, out through the sunroof, killing him.
Michigan State Police Lt. Mike Shaw said it’s the strangest thing he’s ever encountered on the roadway. “We see people putting on makeup, we see people doing different things as far as hygiene, as far as reading books, it’s almost to the fact there’s so much technology out there a lot of people are more paying attention to what they’re doing other than driving their cars,” he told reporters.
The moral of this story is that an old fart and an old car don’t mix if the driver is watching porn and beating his meat. Come to think of it though, a young dude and a 2016 model car wouldn’t mix either under the same circumstances.
In other words, keep your fucking hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road.
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