Elvis González Valencia, financial boss of Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG), stopped to take a leak by the side of the road, and it got him shot and busted
BarkGrowlBite | January 9, 2016
Borderland Beat reports that recently Elvis González Valencia, aka “El Elvis” was travelling in an SUV near the town of San Miguel de Alto in Jalisco state when he felt the urge to take a leak. The SUV stopped by the side of the road. He got out, whipped out his dick for anyone to see, and proceeded to pee. A pickup truck, which apparently had been following El Elvis, stopped and its occupants opened fire.
Fortunately for El Elvis, the sicarios were poor shots because he was hit only twice in an arm. His compadres rushed him to a hospital.
Unfortunately for El Elvis, hospital officials became suspicious of his fake ID and reported him to the authorities. The Mexican feds then swooped into the hospital and busted the hapless cartel boss.
That’ll teach El Elvis to take a leak in public. His assailants were either Mexicans offended by the bravado exposure of his person, or they were sicarios from a rival cartel faction.
NOTE: El Elvis, financial boss of Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG), is small pickings compared to El Chapo, who until yesterday was the world’s most wanted criminal. Numero uno of the Sinaloa Cartel, El Chapo was recaptured in Los Mochis by Mexican marines after a fierce firefight with his body guards. He had embarrassed the Mexican government by escaping from Mexico’s most secure prison, exiting through an elaborate tunnel six month ago. El Chapo has been returned to the sane prison from which he escaped.
Also captured with El Chapo was Orso Iván Gastélum Cruz, his top aide. Cruz is better known as ‘El Cholo Iván.’
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