BIOLOGICAL WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION SHIPPED BY TERRORISTS, PLACED ON AIR TRAN FLIGHT BY MISTAKE

By Pamela Putz / The Schalotte / November 15, 2011

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano and FBI Director Robert Mueller held a joint press conference Monday in which they asked the public to be on the lookout for any heavy infestation of cockroaches. Mueller revealed that the FBI had uncovered a diabolical plot by Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula to unleash their latest biological weapon of mass destruction on the Great Satan, an infestation of disease carrying cockroaches in the City of New York.

The attack was planned by Al Queda leader al-Awlaki shortly before he was killed in a U.S. drone attack on his convoy in Yemen. Director Mueller told reporters that, “We did not want to release this information at this time because our investigation is not complete and we did not want to tip off al-Awlaki’s operatives. But now that some money-grubbing attorney has let the cat out of the bag with a frivolous lawsuit, we were left with no choice but to make this information public.”

When I asked the Director how the roaches got on an Air Tran plane, Mueller replied that, “Our investigation indicates that those cockroaches were in a shipment placed on an Emirates Airlines flight in Dubai. When the flight arrived at JFK, the shipment was somehow transferred by mistake to the Air Tran flight where rough handling by baggage loaders caused the shipping crate to crack, thus allowing the cockroaches to escape in flight.

Secretary Napolitano urged Americans not to panic. “While we believe that further shipments are on the way to New York and possibly other cities, I want the American people to know that the Department of Homeland Security is on top of the situation and that the FBI is doing everything it can to intercept any additional shipments should they arrive. Unfortunately, with the release of this story, it will now be more difficult to catch the Al Queda operatives that are supposed to pick up the cockroaches when they arrive in the United States.”

Director Mueller added, “I am asking the public to call their local FBI office to report any heavy infestation of cockroaches.”

Here is the story that Napolitano and Mueller did not want released:

NC COUPLE SUES AIR TRAN OVER COCKROACHES ON FLIGHT; SAYS BUGS SICKENED THEM, STAFF DID NOTHING

Associated Press
November 12, 2011

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A North Carolina couple is suing Air Tran Airways, alleging they were sickened by cockroaches coming out of air vents and storage areas on a recent flight. They say flight attendants ignored their concerns.

WCNC-TV reports that Charlotte attorney Harry Marsh and his fiancée, Kaitlin Rush, saw the cockroaches soon after takeoff on a Sept. 15 flight from Charlotte to Houston with a stop-over in Atlanta. They say flight attendants were too busy to investigate the problem. Marsh said Rush became nauseous and now doesn’t want to fly.

They’re claiming mental and emotional distress and seeking more than $100,000, plus the price of their tickets.

Air Tran said it can’t comment on pending litigation, but it denies several allegations. The airline says cleanliness is important and that planes are regularly and professionally treated for bugs.