TEXAS NOT QUITE READY FOR PRIME POT TIME

19-year old Jacob Lavoro is in tears because he faces up to life in prison for baking a big batch of pot brownies

Craig Malisow is correct when he indicates that Jake is in for a heap of more troubles if he’s still crying when he arrives at the joint. Think of a red ass for starters.

DUDE FACES LIFE IN SLAMMER FOR HASH BROWNIES
By Craig Malisow | Houston Press Hair Balls | May 23, 2014

Jacob Lavoro, 19, must really hate his neighbor at the Colonial Village Apartments in Round Rock: when she smelled smoke in her apartment bathroom, apparently wafting over from Lavoro's pad, she called the cops, who say they found hash oil, a batch of pot brownies and cookies, and a client list in Lavoro's apartment.

As our cover story this week mentions, political attitudes toward weed may be changing in Texas, but not swift enough for Lavoro, who faces steeper punishment because of the hash oil: He's been charged with felony possession with intent to deliver, and faces between 5-99 years, or life, in prison.

We agree with every sane individual who points out that 99 years for 1.5 lbs. of herb is just a tad excessive. Now, if you want to give him 99 years for just being an all-around dumbass, we're at least open to hearing that argument.

"It's really frightening, it really is," a crying Lavoro told KVUE. "It's putting me in a really scary situation and honestly, I can't stop crying about it." (The incessant waterworks are no doubt bound to go over well in prison).

Lavoro's lawyer says police arrived at the 1.5 lb. figure by measuring the total weight of the brownies, and not just the drugs. But Round Rock Police Commander Alain Babin said that "When you mix items with a drug and it doesn't change its chemical compound, then you weigh the total amount of all the adulterants and diluent."

That argument will have to be hashed (HEY-OH!) out in court; the next hearing is set for June.