The Onion / October 18, 2012
PARMA, OH—While performing at a campaign rally for President Barack Obama on Thursday, rock icon Bruce Springsteen reportedly failed to fire up the largely working-class audience when he accidentally played an acoustic ballad titled “Big Government’s Stealin’ Our Livelihood.”
“Can’t ever feed the appetite of Uncle Sam / Stealin’ half my paycheck out of my hand,” crooned Springsteen, unintentionally alienating the bemused crowd with brazenly pro-market and anti-union lyrics that detail the struggles of a small business owner named Mikey who is forced to declare bankruptcy due to a weak economy plagued by industry overregulation. “Green energy subsidies unfair / The middle class ain’t going nowhere / ’Cause that big ol’ government stole our livelihood again.”
According to sources, the New Jersey–bred singer-songwriter only compounded his mistake by following up with the fast-paced rocker “One Man, One Woman.”
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