Trump tells Israelis, “America loves Israel, America loves the Jewish people.”
By Izzy A. Schlemiel
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL -- Upon leaving the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, President Trump made a quick surprise stopover in Israel.
In his first visit to Israel as President of the United States, Donald Trump addressed a quickly assembled crowd of about 10,000 people in Tel Aviv’s Rabin Square. Of those assembled, 6,000 were Israeli soldiers and police that were there to provide security for Trump, Prime Minister Netanyahu and other dignitaries, and to prevent left-wing protesters from throwing rotten tomatoes.
After the usual thank yous, Trump began by saying, “I’ve made this brief stopover here in Israel to show that America loves Israel, America loves the Jewish people. I love the Jewish people. I have some lawyers that are Jews. One of my best friends is a Jew. Why, my son-in-law is Jewish … Stand up there Jared, take a bow.”
Here are some more excerpts from Trumps speech.
“I am proud to be standing with you here in Robin Square so aptly named after a beautiful song bird.” (Pause while an aide jumps up and whispers in Trump’s ear.) “Err, heh, heh, I’ve just been informed it’s Rabin Square, whatever that means, not Robin Square.” (The crowd groaned, soldiers laughed, Netanyahu grimaced and several rotten tomatoes were hurled at the stage.}
“America gained its independence from the British by armed insurrection just like you gained your independence against strong British opposition. America admires the way your brave soldiers have fought off your enemies in several wars even though your army was vastly outnumbered each time. America admires the guts and fortitude the Jewish people have shown despite never ending attacks by terrorists and by Hanas with its rockets.”
“And personally I especially admire you because you built a wall to keep the Palestinians out just like I want to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out.”
“As you know, I made an iron clad promise to AIPAC that we will move the American embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Well, I’ve got an important announcement … we’re not going to do that because it would offend the Palestinians and our Arab allies who insist that Jerusalem should be the capital of a Palestinian state.”
“I’m not Obama who insulted my buddy Bibi and Sara [Netanyahu] by letting them cool their heels in a small White House room while he took his good time having a meal with his family. I’m not Obama who condemned your disproportionate retaliation against Hamas for its attacks against Israel. I’m not Obama who threatened to shoot down Israeli warplanes if they set out to attack Iran’s nuclear facilities.”
“I’m not Obama, I’m your friend and I love the Jewish people even though almost all of them voted for crooked Hillary and not for me. You heard me tell you that one of my best friends is a Jew … well, he voted for Clinton too.”
“We will continue to supply Israel with our Patriot missiles which may or may not be able to shoot down rockets fired at your civilians from Gaza by Hamas or missiles fired at your cities from Lebanon by Hezbollah.”
“I have assigned Jared, my trusted Jewish son-in-law … stand up there Jared, take a bow … the task of brokering an agreement between your government and the Palestinians for a two-state solution. I am confident that Jared will succeed where that fool John Kerry failed. Even though the two-state solution is a stepping stone for the eventual obliteration of your Jewish state, hopefully it may reduce hostilities in the Middle East.”
Trump ended his speech by saying, “You can count on America as your closest ally and friend. You have my iron clad pledge that America has Israel’s back … that is as long as our friendship doesn’t threaten the interests of the United States.”
The end of Trump’s speech was met with polite applause. But several rotten tomatoes were tossed at Trump and Netanyahu as the pair hugged each other on the stage.
After a few handshakes with Israeli dignitaries on the stage, Trump was whisked back to his plane for the return flight back home.
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