SECRETARY OF STATE JOHN KERRY’S SECRET TRIP TO THE VATICAN

The Obama administration calls for democratic election of Pope, women in the priesthood, and compares Conclave of Cardinals to the Ayatollahs of Iran

By Pamela Putz

The Unconventional Gazette / March 1, 2013

Our sources within the Vatican inform us that newly appointed Secretary of State John Kerry made a secret visit to the Vatican late Wednesday evening for a meeting with Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican’s Secretary of State, after which he met briefly with Pope Benedict.

Kerry was accompanied by Nicholas Cafardi, law professor and dean emeritus at the Duquesne University School of Law, who is on a short list of those President Obama is considering for ambassador to the Vatican. Cafardi is a canon and civil lawyer who was national co-chair of Catholics for Obama.

Kerry was in Italy for a scheduled meeting with Syrian opposition leaders on Thursday.

Kerry informed Cardinal Bertone that the Obama administration strongly condemns the method for selecting Popes and calls on the Vatican to hold democratic elections to choose the next Pope. “Catholics all over the world should be allowed to vote for the Pope,” Kerry told Cardinal Bertone. “The present method by which the Conclave of Cardinals selects the pope is comparable to what the Ayatollahs do in Iran. When President Obama insists on democratic governance of Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya, Cuba and other lands, he cannot stand idly by while Catholics are governed like the Iranians under Ayatollah Khamenei and the Cubans under the Castro brothers.”

Kerry also told Cardinal Bertone that President Obama wants the Church to open the priesthood to women, approve a woman’s right to choose and recognize gay marriage. “Mr. Obama is dedicated to women’s and gay rights, and those rights should be the cornerstone of the Catholic Church,” said Kerry.

Cardinal Bertone angrily told Kerry, “Kindly inform President Obama to keep his damn nose out of the Church’s business.“

Despite his anger, the cardinal ushered Kerry and Cafardi to a meeting with Pope Benedict in his private quarters. Our sources inform us that when Kerry repeated Obama’s demands, the Pope became visibly angry and called on the Swiss Guards to escort Kerry and Cafardi forthwith out of the Vatican.

After Kerry’s unceremonious departure, Pope Benedict told Cardinal Bertone, “Now I know what they mean by an ‘imperial presidency.’ The Pope was also overheard to say, “I don’t need this shit on my last day in office.”