CHICAGO PUBLIC SCHOOLS FINALLY STARTING TO TEACH PRACTICAL MATH THAT DISADVANTAGED KIDS CAN UNDERSTAND AND USE IN REAL-WORLD SITUATIONS

New practical math course devised at direction of Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Chicago Public Schools CEO Barbara Byrd-Bennett

The Unconventional Gazette / March 4, 2013

PRACTICAL MATH TEST

1. Lajames is a member of the Crips and has an AK-47 with a 50-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many motherfucking Bloods can Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when that motherfucker gets whacked?

11. Leroye done up and mugged some fucking white dude. His wallet contained 2 twenties, 4 tens, 7 fives and 9 ones. Leroye decides to keep half of the money and split the rest with three of his homies. How much did Leroye keep and how much did each homie get?

12. Jesus and four of his Latin Kings bros do a smash and grab at Goldberg’s Jewelry store. They get away with 27 watches and 31 rings. They each decide to keep one watch for themselves and give each of their main squeezes a ring. They sell the rest of the watches for $25 each and each of the rings for $35. How much money did they make?