LOVING HUSBAND’S OBITUARY AND FACTS NOT A MATCH

Google executive Forrest Hayes died aboard his yacht in Santa Cruz, California last November after a high-priced prostitute injected him with a dose of heroin

Here is an excerpt from Forrest Hayes’ obituary:

Forrest will be remembered above all as a loving husband and father. More than anything else he enjoyed spending time with his family at home and on his boat.

Well, not exactly. It appears that the dear departed Forrest enjoyed spending time on his boat with a prostitute more than with his family.

Alix Catherine Tichelman, 26, a high-priced call girl, was arrested Friday by Santa Cruz cops and charged with second-degree murder [for the death of Hayes], destruction of evidence and transporting and providing narcotics. She is roosting in the Santa Cruz County jail with bail set at $1.5 million.

Here is the real skinny on the late loving husband. It seems as though Mr. Hayes connected with Alix through the online SeekingArrangement.com website. They got together several times before the night of last November 26. That night, on his 50-foot yacht Escape, Alix injected Forrest with a dose of heroin. He got a bad reaction from the drug and crapped out. Surveillance video from inside the yacht shows Alix calmly stepping over Forrest’s body, finishing a glass of wine, and drawing the cabin blinds shut. Then she abandoned ship, leaving the victim sprawled toes up.

The Santa Cruz cops began a lengthy and fastidious investigation which zeroed in on the now incarcerated Alix. Evidence linking her to Forrest’s death was obtained through the video and fingerprints on the wine glass.

By now, Alix was living in Folsom. A Santa Cruz investigator lured her back by pretending to be a wealthy client who wanted to pay her more than $1,000 for sex. Alix agreed to meet him on July 4 at an unnamed Santa Cruz County luxury hotel, and that’s when the cops busted her.

We all know that most obituaries are embellished. When one of my fellow nature center volunteers croaked, his wife submitted a very, very long obituary which made it appear as though her departed spouse could walk on water. Actually, he was an asshole who went out of his way to aggravate all those around him. We all despised him.

The obituary for Forrest Hayes would have been much more accurate had it stated: More than anything else he enjoyed spending time with a prostitute on his boat.