The Unconventional Gazette / December 20, 2012
A 70 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While in the emergency room she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 23 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was run over and killed by a dump truck.
Arriving in front of God, she was really pissed off. She shrieked at God, "I thought you said I had another 23 years. Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that truck?"
God replied: “Holy shit! I didn’t recognize you.”
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