EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BIDEN'S 'ECONOMIC STIMULUS' PROGRAM

We taxpayers are now receiving Biden's 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

 

 

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

 

Q - What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A - It is money that the federal government is sending to taxpayers.

 

Q - Where will the government get this money?

A - From the taxpayers.

 

Q - But isn't the government giving me back my own money?

A - Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q - What is the purpose of this program?

A - The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q - But isn't that stimulating the economy of Korea and China?

A - No more questions, please! 

 

Now here is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus payment wisely 

 

If you spend the stimulus payment at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to China, Taiwan or Malaysia.

If ypu purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If you buy a fuel efficient car, it will go to Kapan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit card off, it will go to bankers who will spend it offshore.

If you buy stock, it will go to corporations that will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:

 

Spending it at yard sales.

Going to ballgames.

Spending it on prostitutes.

Spending it on beer. 

Spending it on tattoos.

Yard sales, ballgames, prostitutes, beer and tattoos are the only American businesses still active in the US.

 

Q - So how should I spend my stimulus payment? 

A- Get a  tattoo, buy a pair of dumbbells at a yard sale, then go to a ballgame with a prostitute that you met at a bar, and drink lots of beer.