IRAN'S VERSION OF DESTROYING ISRAEL'S NUCLEAR REACTOR

 

SEASON'S GREETINGS FROM THE EDITOR

  

Merry Christmas to all

 

  
 

 

 

 

  

 

And a happy and healthy new year too

RUDE AWAKENINGS

 

Sweet dreams about to be interrupted:

 

Dogs say this sure beats peeing on a tree or fire hydrant

A FLYING PIG MUST HAVE PULLED THE TRIGGER ..... IF NOT THE PIG, THEN THE TOOTH FAIRY MUST HAVE DONE IT

Alex Baldwin insists he never pulled the trigger of the gun.  Claims he pulled back the hammer of the vintage Colt 45, and when he let go of the hammer, the gun went off

By Howie Katz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

          Alec is holding a gun! ... Quick everyone, run for cover!

 

Unless you live under a rock you should know that on October 21, 2021Alec Baldwin accidentally killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and wounded director Joel Souza with a prop gun on a movie set near Santa Fe, New Mexico. 

To begin with, Hutchins and Souza would not have been shot had Baldwin not violated the cardinal rule of gun safety: Never point a gun - loaded or empty, real or fake - at anyone unless you intend to kill them.

The gun fired by Baldwin was an Itakian made replica of a vintage Colt 45 similar to the one pictured here

During an interview with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, Baldwin insists he never pulled the trigger of the gun.  Claims he pulled back the hammer of the vintage Colt 45, and when he let go of the hammer, the gun went off.

Several gun experts say that the gun might possibly go off like Baldwin claimed, but such an accidental discharge is so rare, that the actor is "full of shit."

However, Baldwin is an outspoken Democrat, so he wouldn't lie about how the gun went off.  But if not Baldwin, who would have pulled the trigger?

An angry flying pig must have pulled the trigger.

And if not the pig, then the tooth fairy must have done it.

Unless he can prove a flying pig or the tooth fairy pulled the trigger, Baldwin should be charged and tried for manslaughter (Hutchins) and attempted manslaughter (Souza).  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If convicted, Baldwin should be sentenced to serve time in prison instead of being put on probation. A small price to pay for killing one person and wounding another.

ADDENDUM: By the way, if that tooth fairy is still buzzing around inside or outside your head, you can call on the fella pictured below for help.

 

 

He'll get rid of that pest for you.

LAST WORDS OF NAZI U-BOAT COMMANDER AND CREW

By Howie Katz

 

On this day in 1942, U-692 left its pen in in La Rochelle, France to sink allied supply ships in the North Atlantic.

 

 

Three days later the U-692 was spotted by a British frigate ans although the U-boat was able to submerge, it was severely damaged by a depth charge and began to fill with water.  

 

As the water got up to his head, the U-boat commander shouted:

Heil Hitler! Auf Wiedersehen mein Fuhrer.

 

 

Only a few of the crew was still alive, but they shouted back:

Auf Wiedersehen ... Fuck der Fuhrer!

KINKY'S SONG ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST ..... AND MORE

Kinky Friedman is an accomplished country singer, novelist, songwriter, politician and cigar aficionado. Although not a practicing Jew, he wrote a song about the six million Jews that were murdered by the Nazis in what's known as the Holocaust

 

 

Here is the song he wrote about the Holocaust:

Ride 'em Jewboy

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ride, ride 'em Jewboy
Ride 'em all around the old corral
I'm, I'm with you boy
If I've got to ride six million miles

Now the smokes from camps are rising
See the helpless creatures on their way
Hey, old pal, ain't it surprising
How far you can go before you stay

Don't you let the morning blind ya
When on your sleeve you wore the yeller star
Old memories still live behind ya
Can't you see by your outfit who you are

How long will you be driven relentless 'round the world
The blood in the rhythm of the soul

Wild ponies all your dreams were broken
Rounded out and made to move along
The loneliness which can't be spoken
Just swings a rope and rides inside a song

Dead limbs play with ringless fingers
A melody which burns you deep inside
Oh, how the song becomes the singers
May peace be ever with you as you ride

How long will you be driven relentless around the world
The blood in the rhythm of the soul

In the window candles glowing
Remind you that today you are a child
Road ahead, forever rolling
And anything worth cryin' can be smiled

So ride, ride 'em Jewboy
Ride 'em all around the old corral
I'm, I'm with you boy
If I've got to ride six million miles

Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

 

Kinky is wealthy, but lives the simple life on his ranch in the Texas Hill Country

                                             Kinky Friedman's home, Echo Hill

                                             Kinky Friedman on his front porch   

 

 

Kinky is an avowed animal lover.  In 1998 he and a couple of friends founded the Utopia Animal  Rescue Ranch for unwanted dogs.  They also have other rescued animals on the shelter.

 

 

Kinky is also known for many of his quotes.Here are two jewels:

That’s another thing about political correctness. We used to call the Mexicans “greasers.” Now we call them “Lubricanos.”

I wanted Bernie to win because that would have been the first time in history that a Jewish family moved into a house that a black family moved out of.

 

Lubricanos - now that; s a double whopper.  How does he come up with such jewels

 

Well, as I said the other day, God, I love the guy.  Long live Kinky! 

THE TEXAS JEWBOY KEEPS ON KICKING

Country singer, novelist, songwriter, politician and cigar aficionado Kinky Friedman, the Texas Jewboy, has been around forever

Kinky is either praised or condemned for many of his songs and quotes.  Here is one of his latest quotes:

"The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount."

 

                                              Kinky Friedman

 Here is one of Kinky's most popular songs ... Dedicated to the feminists

 Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your maiden form for lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.

Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to adam, ¡°here's an apple you horse¡±
And delilah defoliated samson's moss.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.

So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

And here is one of his songs that pissed off just about everyone:

They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God's only son."

I said, "Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ."
"You know, you don't look Jewish," he said, "near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin' and a-spittin' on the floor,
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore."

He says, "I ain't a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don't need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops 'n micks 'n slopes 'n spics 'n spooks are on my list
And there's one little hebe from the heart of Texas — is there anyone I missed ? "

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, "I'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin' that pack of lies.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said 'bout Aristitle Onassis."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
"Lord, they sho' ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"
All right!

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"

No, we ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!" 

 

 

Finally, here's a quote that pissed off many Texans, but it was true at the time he made it:

 

“We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.”

 

The quality of education in both Texas and Mississippi is piss poor, but not to worry, all the other states are catching up to us real fast. 

 

As for the Texas Jewboy, God, I love the guy.  Long live Kinky!