CURLERS FOR THE NUNS’ CATHOLIC SHAMPOO

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

The other nun answered, “Indeed it would Sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer because I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout counter.”

“I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied. Then she picked up a six-pack of Bud Light and headed for the checkout counter.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns put a six-pack of beer on the counter.

“We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at our nunnery we call it Catholic shampoo.”

Without blinking an eye, the cashier left the counter and came back with a large package of pretzel sticks which he placed beside the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, “The curlers are on the house.”

HYPNOTIST ENTERTAINS SENIOR CITIZENS CENTER

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center. After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist.

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time," said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew, from his waistcoat pocket, a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch," said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It's a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations," said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch --- Watch the watch."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and broke into pieces.

"Shit!" exclaimed Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens Center and Claude will never be invited there again.

GUILTY FINDING IN CALIFORNIA DOG MAULING CASE

A Stockton man, whose dog attacked and killed a woman, has been convicted of involuntary manslaughter

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog
March 25, 2015

I have written before about the case of Brian Hrenko, 60, a Stockton man who was being prosecuted for the dog mauling death of his next-door neighbor. A jury has just found Hrenko guilty of involuntary manslaughter and he faces as much as 56 months in prison.

The dead woman, Claudia Gallardo, 36, was a house cleaner. She had come to Gallardo’s home at the request of the property management company to arrange to clean the house, so she was not some casual trespasser. Gallardo was speaking with Hrenko’s lady friend in a friendly fashion when the dog attacked. Gallardo died at the scene.

The jury took less than three hours to come in with a verdict. Sentencing will be next month.

FIRING SQUAD BACK IN UTAH

In the event that Utah cannot obtain any lethal drugs, it now has a backup plan of execution by firing squad

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 24, 2015

On Monday, Governor Gary Herbert of Utah signed the law which again permits the firing squad for executions in Utah when lethal injection drugs are not available.

The Governor said he still prefers lethal injection, but acknowledges that the state must have a backup plan when Plan A is unavailable.

ARIZONA DECLARING ITS INDEPENDENCE FROM OBAMA

House Bill 2368 prohibits the use of any government personnel or financial resources to enforce any of Obama’s executive orders

BarkGrowlBite | March 25, 2015

Arizona House Bill 2368:

Prohibits this state or any of its political subdivisions from using any personnel or financial resources to enforce, administer or cooperate with an executive order issued by the President of the U.S. that has not been affirmed by a vote of Congress and signed into law as prescribed by the U.S. Constitution.

Prohibits this state or any of its political subdivisions from using any personnel or financial resources to enforce, administer or cooperate with a policy directive issued by the U.S. DOJ to law enforcement agencies in this state that has not been affirmed by a vote of Congress and signed into law as prescribed by the U.S. Constitution.

The bill was introduced by Republican Representative Bob Thorpe of Flagstaff and passed the House along party lines by a vote of 36-24. The measure now goes to the Arizona Senate.

Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts wrote:

…One of a series of kooky measures aimed at declaring [Arizona’s] independence from federal gun laws, from the Affordable Care Act, from the Environmental Protection Agency, from the Department of Justice, from Barack Obama and from just about anything else associated with the state’s most detested f-word. Federal, that is.

The bill should pass in the Senate if the majority of senators are Republicans. If the bill does pass the Senate, I am sure it will be signed into law by Gov. Doug Ducey. After that Arizona can look forward to a period of legal challenges.

Kooky or not, I like that bill!

YET MORE WARPED MORALITY

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 24, 2015

Jose Alberto Perez is 18-years old and is looking at spending the rest of his life as a guest of the state due to (among other things) a truly warped sense of morality.

It seems that at some point in the near past Perez’s mother was involved in some sort of a fight with another female. Perez believe he saw that woman as his stepfather’s place in South L.A. on Wednesday of last week. So, he did what any other law-abiding person would do, he took a shotgun over to his stepfather’s house and shot the woman in the face, killing her. As it turns out the woman, Yesenia DeLeon, 35, was his step-father’s current girlfriend and was not the woman who was involved in the fight with his mother. Whoops.

Perez is still in custody pending $2 million in bail. He is being charged with murder.

WALMARTIANS STRIKE AGAIN

Eight members of a family shopping at an Arizona Walmart assault a female store employee, then battle the cops in the parking lot

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 23, 2015

I, among other people, routinely refer to customers of WalMart as WalMartians. They are often very, very strange. A case in point:

A bit of a hoorah developed at the WalMart in Cottonwood AZ overnight Sunday. Local cops responded to the parking lot at about midnight to break up a family fight. The fight somehow involved a female WalMart employee who had been assaulted by multiple members of a family. When the police showed up, the eight family members immediately attacked the cops. Seven officers were slightly injured in the melee. One family member was shot to death by the cops and a second was gutshot. A WalMart employee who dived in to help got a broken arm for his trouble.

Thank You for shopping at WalMart.

MAJOR MISTAKE AT A MONTREAL DETENTION CENTER

The son of Canadian Hells Angels leader Maurice (Mom) Boucher is mistakenly released from the Bordeaux jail in Montreal

BarkGrowlBite | March 24, 2015

Francis Boucher, the son of notorious Hells Angels leader Maurice (Mom) Boucher, was arrested in December and charged with uttering threats against police officers. On March 10, he was sentenced to serve four months in jail.

Francis was serving his sentence at the Bordeaux jail in Montreal when on Monday he was mistakenly released.

On Monday the Public Security Ministry released the following statement:

"An event like this is totally unacceptable. Our priority now is to find this individual as quickly as possible. Rest assured that every effort is being made. Correctional Services, the Public Security Ministry, the Sûreté du Québec and municipal police forces are working together in order to find the individual who is unlawfully at large,"

Hells Angels leader Maurice (Mom) Boucher, father of the 39-year-old fugitive, was convicted in 2002 of shooting two correctional officers to death. He is serving a life sentence in the maximum-security wing of the federal penitentiary in Sainte-Anne-des-Plaines, Québec.

I suspect that because Francis is enjoying his freedom, some heads will roll at the Bordeaux jail while Mom is laughing his head off.

MONICA IS BACK

Monica Lewinsky is best known and excoriated for giving blow jobs to President Bill Clinton in the oval office of the White House. At the time,Clinton defended himself by saying, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”


(Click on the image to enlarge it)

In 2006, Monica received a Master’s Degree in Social Psychology from the London School of Economics, a prestigious university in England.

Monica is back in the public eye now, giving talks against cyber-bullying. She says, “In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity. … I lost my sense of self. I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo and, of course, ‘that woman.’ I was known by many, but actually known by few. I get it. It was easy to forget ‘that woman’ was dimensional and had a soul. When this happened to me, 17 years ago, there was no name for it. Now we call it cyber-bullying.”

SICK, TWISTED AND COMPLICATED IN COLORADO

Craig’s List Caveat Emptor: Baby-laden Buyer Beware

By Greg ‘Gadfly’ Doyle

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 20, 2015

In a another bizarre Craig’s List-related story, a very pregnant Colorado woman answered an advertisement on that site in the hope of purchasing some baby clothes. The woman drove to the listed address, was beaten, stabbed, and had her unborn child ripped from her womb by a woman at that location.

Pacovilla.com reminds the reader that, according to the linked Fox News article, the woman was not allegedly attacked—her unborn child was, in fact, torn from her body and murdered by a sick and twisted assailant.

That assailant has been arrested and identified as 34-year-old, Dynel Lane, who had the dead baby in her possession when she showed up at a local hospital claiming she had just had a miscarriage. This also was not alleged, the hospital staff actually saw Lane with the dead baby. In fact, the evidence was so compelling, the police felt the need to arrest Lane as a result.

What is alleged is that a crime was committed in the State of Colorado and Lane may have committed it. However, the most serious crime she might be accused of perpetrating seems to be in question under Colorado law.

Colorado woman allegedly stabbed, removed baby from pregnant woman’s womb

…Dynel Lane, 34, took the baby to the hospital, saying she had a miscarriage, authorities said. The baby did not survive. The 26-year-old expectant mother, who was seven months pregnant, was found beaten and stabbed at the suspect’s home, Longmont police Cmdr. Jeff Satur said. She had undergone surgery, and on Thursday was alert and answering questions, police said.

“This is a tragic case for a mother right now,” Satur told the Longmont Daily Times-Call newspaper. “She came by this house. She was attacked, and her baby was removed from her.”

…The suspect was arrested at the hospital on suspicion of attempted first-degree murder, first-degree assault and child abuse knowingly and recklessly resulting in death.

…”The issues involving an unborn child are complicated under Colorado law,” he told the newspaper. “In most circumstances, if a child was not actually born alive, then homicide charges are not possible.” (for the full story see http://tinyurl.com/nekghvt.)

This very heinous and vulgar incident highlights the sick and twisted unintended consequences of the legal justification and political pandering regarding abortion rights. Crimes committed against the unborn often do not count because affirming that human life exists in the womb is too complicated, especially in Colorado.

The clarity of reasonableness when considering this unconscionable crime—where an unborn child is ripped from the womb by assault—is clouded by the negative, political implications that calling the killing “murder” might produce. To add to this confusion, Colorado authorities allege “child abuse knowingly and recklessly resulting in death” against Lane on the one hand, yet do not charge her with homicide on the other.

Logically, if the unborn baby is considered a child under “child abuse” statutes, why is the same child not human enough for homicide charges to be filed? A technicality that the unborn “child was not actually born alive,” ignores the actual unborn being, the life that would become, as the result of the assault.

Of course the child wasn’t born alive! The suspect ripped the baby from his/her mother’s womb with a knife before being born alive was possible!!! Arguing whether or not the baby would be viable outside the womb seems a rather callous speculation at this point. Besides the courts have ruled that most legal abortions cannot be performed after the 24-week of pregnancy (for more info see http://tinyurl.com/o6j4bmw.)

The abortion mantra of a “woman’s right to choose” rings horrifically hollow when that choice is made by a non-maternal outsider like Dynel Lane. She chose to abort the victim’s unborn child against the wishes of the mother. Meanwhile, the legal status of the baby hinges upon a convoluted legal interpretation.

Is it murder or isn’t it, Colorado? Did that unborn child have a right to live, but was unlawfully terminated by a criminal act?

Perhaps a jury of Lane’s peers (potentially twelve Marijuana-imbued potheads) would never be able to fathom the distinction after all.

Keep it simple, Colorado.

IT’S A CRUEL, CRUEL CALIFORNIA

Animal Attraction? Something strange is happening in Sacramento

By Richard Krupp, PhD

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 19, 2015

A couple of days ago fellow Paco-blogger, Bob Walsh, reported about a man who’s 10-year prison sentence for animal cruelty was upheld by a California Appellate court. This story reminded me of a man I interviewed many years ago when I was a counselor at CIM we nick named “the Puppy Pumper.”

As a follow up on animal related crimes I found a couple of interesting stories in the local news. Evidently the Sacramento area can be hazardous to various kinds of animals. The Sacramento Bee ran a few articles that fit the theme:

Beheaded chickens and turtle found in Yolo County

A birdwatcher working the fields of Yolo County found a collection of five beheaded chickens and a single similarly slain turtle Sunday – the 13th discovery of mutilated animals in the Sacramento area since the start of the year. (for full story see http://tinyurl.com/kfpwm3y.)

Livestock beheadings baffle Sacramento officials

“Multiple beheaded chickens were found in the city cemetery with these bowls of what was described as bloody oatmeal,” said Gina Knepp, manager of Sacramento’s Front Street animal shelter and its animal care operations. “We don’t know what that was about.

Since early January, officials have discovered six separate cases of animal mutilations, the latest coming Friday. Knepp said the bodies of two very young goats that had been decapitated were found shortly before 4 p.m. at the railroad tracks at 19th and V streets.

The problem became so pronounced that ranchers, local authorities and U.S. senators pressed the FBI to launch an investigation into the issue, which involved more than 1,500 cattle being mutilated and drained of blood in 22 states, according to a 1976 Oui magazine report included in FBI online files on the issue.

The cause of the widespread livestock killings never was determined, although theories have abounded through the years that they were the result of satanic rituals or alien attacks. (for full story see http://tinyurl.com/pjvhuyr.)

Ask Sacto 911 crime Q&A: What’s happening in case of woman accused of stealing, torturing dogs?

Kayla Lynn Wright, 23, was arrested in early January in connection with the theft and torture of dogs in Carmichael.

She is charged with grand theft of an animal and felony animal torture. According to Sacramento Superior Court online records, she is scheduled for a preliminary hearing April 1.

According to stories in The Sacramento Bee, on Dec. 26, a dead dog was found in a garbage can on Cardinal Court, near Kenneth and Garfield avenues. The animal was wrapped in a table cloth and had a stereo speaker cord, with a speaker still attached, around its neck.

Sheriff’s officials said detectives used security video in the neighborhood to tie the theft of the two dogs to a woman later identified as Wright. Further investigation allegedly established that Wright also was responsible for the death of the dog found in the garbage can. (for full story see http://tinyurl.com/n4cvtsn.)

I’m not sure which incident is stranger. Are these cases any more bizarre than the case that involves a Sacramento man whose trial began last week for the ax killing of his nine year old son? What strange attractors have assembled that brought so many horrific murderous events to the Sacramento area?

Is it chemical? Is it something alien? Or is this the new normal for California in general?

EDITOR’S NOTE: That’s California for you.

A large number of Californians must be the descendants of illegal aliens from the planet Epsilon Eridani who came to the Bay Area sometime shortly after the San Francisco earth quake.

Its possible that instead of Gov. Moonbeam, he’s really Jerry ‘Epsilon Eridani-beam’ Brown. And Nancy Pelosi nay well be related to those aliens.

As for the mutilation of animals, here in Texas we treat animals with respect. Some of us even copulate with them, sheep, pigs and horses being among the most favored.

BLACK KOOKS AT KOOKY BERKELEY

The Black Student Union demands that a building at UC Berkeley be named after cop killer Assat Shakur

BarkGrowlBite | March 20, 2015

The University of California Berkeley is probably ranked No. 1 among the most far-left institutions of higher learning in the U.S. It also ranks very high among the kookiest places in America. And now the Black Student Union is trying to make Berkeley the kookiest place of all.

The Black student Union is demanding that Barrows Hall at UC Berkeley be renamed "Shakur Hall" after cop killer Assat Shakur, an escaped prison fugitive now on the FBI’s Most-Wanted Terrorist list.

Shakur, whose real name is Joanne Chesimard, was a member of the Black Liberation Army which is credited with killing more than a dozen police officers in the 1970s and 1980s. In 1973 she killed New Jersey state trooper Werner Foerster during a traffic stop. An altercation ensued during which she took Foerster’s gun and shot him twice in the head as he was lying on the ground. She escaped from a New Jersey state prison in 1979 and fled to Cuba where she was given political asylum. Shakur was placed on the FBI’s Most-Wanted Terrorist list in 2013 and there is now a$2 million reward for her capture.

Black Student Union spokesman Cori McGowens said, "We want the renaming for someone -- Assata Shakur -- who we feel like represents us as black students. Black students on campus have a feeling of isolation, marginalization. We're at a crisis on campus."

Why stop there? By their kooky reasoning, the Black Student Union should demand to rename the university after a cop killer. How does Mumia Abu-Jamal University sound? Hey, that sounds pretty good. Lionized by the left, Mumia Abu-Jamal shot a Philadelphia police officer in the back, then like Assat Shakur, also shot him as he was lying on the ground.

The building renaming demand is one of 10 demands put forth by the group. They are also demanding the hiring of two black psychologists who understand the "racially hostile campus."

The university will not rename Barrows Hall, but Chancellor Nick Dirks met with the black student group last week and apologized. He said, "Too many [black] students have told us about being excluded from study groups, ignored during class discussions, verbally harassed at parties and social events, and feeling, in a general sense, vulnerable, isolated and invisible. This is something we deplore."

I’m surprised that Berkeley did not agree to rename Barrows Hall since the Black Student Union says that Assat Shakur “represents us as black students.” Maybe UC Berkeley is trying to avoid being labeled the kookiest place in America.

OBAMA REBUFFED BY ISRAELI VOTERS

Netanyahu was elected by a near-landslide despite efforts by a campaign team Obama sent to Israel to defeat his hated nemesis

BarkGrowlBite | March 19, 2015

Obama and his inner circle were ready to pop the corks of Champaign bottles Tuesday night. Four days before the election, every Israeli poll showed that Netanyahu would be defeated. However, the man that Obama hates so much was elected in a near-landslide.

Several usually reliable sources have reported that Obama dispatched a campaign team to Israel to run the campaign of Isaac Herzog and Tzipi Livni’s Zionist Union party. There are also allegations that U.S. taxpayer dollars were used in the campaign to defeat Netanyahu. Money from a State Department fund set up to aid the peace process was allegedly diverted to help defeat Obama’s hated nemesis.

Obama’s interference in Israel’s election backfired. Obama is very unpopular in Israel. A large majority of Israeli voters clearly rebuffed Obama.

Netanyahu’s victory must have left President Obama seething in anger.

HOW CAN YOU GET OUT OF THIS DANGEROUS SITUATION?

You are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop off.

And on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is
unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



Scroll down for answer:















Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!

BLACK HOLE

CHIHUAHUA ASSAILANT MUST REGISTER AS SEX OFFENDER

Sicko scumbag’s dick not a fit for tiny dog’s vag

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog | March 14, 2015

Acting Friday a State Appeals Court upheld the sentence of a dog molester.

The court ruled that Robert Deshields, 58, had indeed “committed a violent offense…for sexual purposes” and as such was appropriately sentenced as a sex offender.

Dashields had been living in the garage of the family of the owner of Shadow, a male Chihuahua. The dog went missing on March 27. He reappeared the next day, Dashields asserted he found the dog hiding behind a recliner in the garage. The dog was clearly in bad shape, could barely move, and was dragging his hind legs. Three separate vets testified that the dog had been strangled. Dasheilds was convicted of animal cruelty but deadlocked on the sexual assault on the dog.

Dashields was sentenced to the upper term of three years, plus one year for each of seven enhancements. The court ruled that the strangulation was done for sexual gratification and added the sex offender registration enhancement.

NEWS EXCLUSIVE TO THE UNCONVENTIONAL GAZETTE

Bruce Jenner Gender Transition Fires Worldwide Comments On The Disposition Of His Balls

WASHINGTON, DC -- Over the past year a rash of news stories surfaced speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family, including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news outlets confirming Jenner's intention.

Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story and are wondering aloud "What will happen to Jenner's balls if he completes the transition?" Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama. Netanyahu stated "Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be damn nice if he suddenly had Olympic sized balls. It would be a huge step forward for world peace.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked, "I don't even have any balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think it would be a great idea.”

On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama's lack of balls has finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly fishing expedition in Kanchatka, said "The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like Reagan are over. Now it's our turn.“

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that "It's been great the last six years. It's like playing soccer against the U.S. with no goalie in their net.”

While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to the President if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however, cautioned that "The President would have to understand, our balls would be underinflated, but still probably an improvement over what he seems to be working with now."

THAT DAMN SPELL CHECK

Bob received the following email from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and have to confess that I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't, ever happen again.

Bob in complete shock, ran next door and shot his neighbor dead.

Bob returned home and found that a second email from his now dead neighbor had come in while he ran out of his house gun in hand. That email read:

Damn spell check! I meant "wi-fi"!

WITCH HUNTS IN TANZANIA ARE ON THE RISE AS VIGILANTES SEEK JUSTICE FOR MURDERS OF ALBINOS

The killers believe that body parts of persons with albinism brings good fortune and wealth

By Tonny Onyulo

Religion News Service / USA | March 2, 2015

TABORA, Tanzania -- Many women are living in fear in this rural part of northwestern Tanzania because they are increasingly being targeted by witch hunts — literally.

This East African country is grappling with an upswing in vigilante justice as villagers attack women they believe are witches responsible for the murders of albinos, whose white skin some believe possess magical powers.

Last month, some 200 angry villagers — mostly youths carrying axes, machetes and knives — grabbed Jane Faidha Bakari, 58, in Tabora, hacked her with sharp weapons and burned her alive while her helpless husband watched.

“They came around midnight banging on the door,” said Moses Bakari, her husband. “They broke into the house and hacked my wife with machetes and knives. They burned the body of my wife and later set fire on my house. They claimed that my wife was practicing witchcraft and killing albinos.”

The villagers believed the woman was using body parts from albinos — people born with the absence of pigment in their skin, eyes and hair — to practice witchcraft. Bakari fled with his three children and took refuge in a neighbor’s house.

“I neither knew nor heard that my wife was practicing witchcraft,” Bakari said. “I still don’t believe that I lost my wife to such a painful death. I will only heal if justice is done, because she was innocent.”

The murder of Bakari’s wife isn’t uncommon. Frightened neighbors-cum-vigilantes lynched, stoned or hacked more than 1,000 women to death last year, according to the Center for Advocacy in Rural Development, a Kenyan development group, and the Dar es Salaam-based Legal and Human Rights Center. The groups estimate more than 3,000 suspected witches, usually late middle-age and older women, were killed in the past six years alone.

“The government has failed to apprehend witch doctors who kill our innocent people,” said Wilson Asida, a Tabora resident. “They have killed many albinos to help them gain magical powers. We’ll kill them ourselves to get justice.”

Asida accused the government — which banned witchcraft in January — of relying too much on the courts to prove whether women were practicing witches. “They pretend as if they don’t know witchcraft exists,” he said.

Attacks against those with albinism also seem to be on the rise, the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein said in a statement last week, citing at least three incidents in the past two months. The statement was in response to the “horrific murder and mutilation” of a 1-year-old baby with albinism earlier this month.

The agency worries the killings will only rise in the run-up to October’s Tanzanian presidential elections as political campaigners seek the help of seers who use albino body parts to foretell the future.

In the past 15 years, at least 75 albinos have been killed in Tanzania, but prosecutors have convicted just 10 people in those murders, according to the U.N. Albino organs fetch hundreds of dollars in illegal trading. Around 33,000 people out of a population of about 50 million have albinism, according to the Tanzanian Albinism Society.

Older women are suffering from the backlash against witches as a result of the albino deaths, said Erick Wandera Omwami, chief executive of the Center for Advocacy in Rural Development, who is pushing the government to expand its education campaign against killing albinos to include admonitions against harming alleged witches.

“It’s unlucky for older persons to live in this region, but we should know that every older person has a right to life like anyone else,” he said. “We’ll work together to help communities understand the rights of others and avoid retrogressive and barbaric actions on other human beings.”

Tanzanian police admit witchcraft-related killings are common in the country’s northwest but say catching the culprits is difficult. The lynchings tend to occur after someone dies unexpectedly in the community or when albinos go missing, said police spokesman Ignas Mtana.

Often, he said, sorcerers identify other witches as the perpetrators of the misfortunes. Because the same people who attack witches often consult with other enchanters and potentially also deal in albino body parts, it’s hard to get to the bottom of the cases, Mtana said.

“The family members will go to soothsayers to find out the cause of death and the responsible person,” Mtana said. “The soothsayers will say the name of a witch as the cause of death.”

Mtana said police intervene in lynchings they witness and arrest anyone attacking a suspected witch on sight, but forces are spread thin throughout the region, which includes the great plains of the Serengeti.

In the meantime, women are hiding out of fear of being attacked.

“Someone dropped leaflets bearing my name” on a list of suspected sorceresses, said Rosemary Aziza, 76, who lives near Tabora. “I will hide until the things go back to normal.”

HOLY CAT, MASTER, SLOW IT DOWN!

(Click on the image to enlarge it)

GOD CREATED POT TO BE SMOKED

A Texas state legislator says that since God created pot, the government should butt out

I figured that sooner or later some nutcase would come along and claim God intended for us to smoke pot. Here we have a Republican nutcase who, after reading the bible, believes that pot is a blessing from God. For Texas State Representative David Simpson the answer to ‘What would Jesus do?’ is ‘He’d get stoned.’

STATE REP. SIMPSON SAYS GOD WANTS TO LEGALIZE WEED
"And the Lord said, 'Man, some Cheetos would hit the spot right now....'"

By Craig Malisow

Houston Press
March 3, 2015

We don't agree with state Rep. David Simpson on a lot of things. Okay, most things. But the guy surprised us with a novel argument in favor of decriminalizing marijuana: It's what God would want.

"I don't believe that when God made marijuana, he made a mistake that government needs to fix," the Longview Republican wrote Monday for the Texas Tribune's TribTalk blog. (We like to picture him smoking a spliff rolled with papers ripped from Thessalonians, but that's probably never happened.)

Simpson has introduced a bill to repeal marijuana offenses while at the same time introducing bills that would bring civil penalties for the sale of synthetic drugs -- he sees a link between the two.

"...our current 'war on drugs' policies, though well intended, have accomplished the exact opposite, spurring a proliferation of ever-changing exotic designer drugs," he writes.

But it's his use of the Gospel to allow the packing of a fat bowl that really made us pay attention. His argument is logical and internally consistent: "The Bible warns about excessive drinking, eating and sleeping (Proverbs 23:21), but it doesn't ban the activities or the substances or conditions associated with them -- alcohol, food and fatigue. Elsewhere, feasting and wine are recognized as blessings from God."

If anything, Simpson's argument doesn't go far enough. Coca leaves and poppies are other gifts from the Big Botanist in the Sky, yet Simpson's not calling for decriminalization of the hard stuff.

Simpson also co-authored a bill that would penalize any government employee who issues a marriage license to a same-sex couple.

This flies in the face of Simpson's bottom-line sentiment: "Civil government should value everything God made and leave people alone unless they meddle with their neighbor."

Well, it seems that Simpson believes God created humankind. And if one human loves and wants to marry another human, government has no business butting in. When it comes to that aspect of individual liberty, Simpson may want to examine his own cloudy vision. We hear that taking a puff or two helps with that.

NETANYAHU'S APPEARANCE BEFORE CONGRESS APPLAUDED BY REPUBLICANS

50 or so Democrats, including Vice President Joe Biden, boycotted the speech while the remaining Democrats sat on their hands for most of the speech

BarkGrowlBite | March 3, 2015

Netanyahu’s speech to Congress today was loudly applauded by Republicans while 50 or so Democrats, including Vice President Joe Biden, boycotted his appearance. The remaining Democrats sat on their hands for most of the speech.

House minority leader Nancy Pelosi was visibly pissed off during the speech. Afterwards she said that she was near tears, “saddened by the insult to the intelligence of the United States” and the “condescension toward our knowledge of the threat posed by Iran.”

Here is a transcript of Netanyahu’s speech:

Speaker of the House John Boehner, President Pro Tem Senator Orrin Hatch, Senator Minority -- Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy.

I also want to acknowledge Senator, Democratic Leader Harry Reid. Harry, it's good to see you back on your feet.

I guess it's true what they say, you can't keep a good man down.

My friends, I'm deeply humbled by the opportunity to speak for a third time before the most important legislative body in the world, the U.S. Congress.

I want to thank you all for being here today. I know that my speech has been the subject of much controversy. I deeply regret that some perceive my being here as political. That was never my intention.

I want to thank you, Democrats and Republicans, for your common support for Israel, year after year, decade after decade.

I know that no matter on which side of the aisle you sit, you stand with Israel.

The remarkable alliance between Israel and the United States has always been above politics. It must always remain above politics.

Because America and Israel, we share a common destiny, the destiny of promised lands that cherish freedom and offer hope. Israel is grateful for the support of American -- of America's people and of America's presidents, from Harry Truman to Barack Obama.

We appreciate all that President Obama has done for Israel. Now, some of that is widely known.

Some of that is widely known, like strengthening security cooperation and intelligence sharing, opposing anti-Israel resolutions at the U.N. Some of what the president has done for Israel is less well- known.

I called him in 2010 when we had the Carmel forest fire, and he immediately agreed to respond to my request for urgent aid. In 2011, we had our embassy in Cairo under siege, and again, he provided vital assistance at the crucial moment. Or his support for more missile interceptors during our operation last summer when we took on Hamas terrorists.

In each of those moments, I called the president, and he was there. And some of what the president has done for Israel might never be known, because it touches on some of the most sensitive and strategic issues that arise between an American president and an Israeli prime minister.

But I know it, and I will always be grateful to President Obama for that support.

And Israel is grateful to you, the American Congress, for your support, for supporting us in so many ways, especially in generous military assistance and missile defense, including Iron Dome.

Last summer, millions of Israelis were protected from thousands of Hamas rockets because this capital dome helped build our Iron Dome.

Thank you, America. Thank you for everything you've done for Israel.

My friends, I've come here today because, as prime minister of Israel, I feel a profound obligation to speak to you about an issue that could well threaten the survival of my country and the future of my people: Iran's quest for nuclear weapons.

We're an ancient people. In our nearly 4,000 years of history, many have tried repeatedly to destroy the Jewish people. Tomorrow night, on the Jewish holiday of Purim, we'll read the Book of Esther. We'll read of a powerful Persian viceroy named Haman, who plotted to destroy the Jewish people some 2,500 years ago. But a courageous Jewish woman, Queen Esther, exposed the plot and gave for the Jewish people the right to defend themselves against their enemies. The plot was foiled. Our people were saved.

Today the Jewish people face another attempt by yet another Persian potentate to destroy us. Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei spews the oldest hatred, the oldest hatred of anti-Semitism with the newest technology. He tweets that Israel must be annihilated -- he tweets. You know, in Iran, there isn't exactly free Internet. But he tweets in English that Israel must be destroyed.

For those who believe that Iran threatens the Jewish state, but not the Jewish people, listen to Hassan Nasrallah, the leader of Hezbollah, Iran's chief terrorist proxy. He said: If all the Jews gather in Israel, it will save us the trouble of chasing them down around the world.

But Iran's regime is not merely a Jewish problem, any more than the Nazi regime was merely a Jewish problem. The 6 million Jews murdered by the Nazis were but a fraction of the 60 million people killed in World War II. So, too, Iran's regime poses a grave threat, not only to Israel, but also the peace of the entire world. To understand just how dangerous Iran would be with nuclear weapons, we must fully understand the nature of the regime.

The people of Iran are very talented people. They're heirs to one of the world's great civilizations. But in 1979, they were hijacked by religious zealots -- religious zealots who imposed on them immediately a dark and brutal dictatorship.

That year, the zealots drafted a constitution, a new one for Iran. It directed the revolutionary guards not only to protect Iran's borders, but also to fulfill the ideological mission of jihad. The regime's founder, Ayatollah Khomeini, exhorted his followers to ``export the revolution throughout the world.''

I'm standing here in Washington, D.C. and the difference is so stark. America's founding document promises life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Iran's founding document pledges death, tyranny, and the pursuit of jihad. And as states are collapsing across the Middle East, Iran is charging into the void to do just that.

Iran's goons in Gaza, its lackeys in Lebanon, its revolutionary guards on the Golan Heights are clutching Israel with three tentacles of terror. Backed by Iran, Assad is slaughtering Syrians. Back by Iran, Shiite militias are rampaging through Iraq. Back by Iran, Houthis are seizing control of Yemen, threatening the strategic straits at the mouth of the Red Sea. Along with the Straits of Hormuz, that would give Iran a second choke-point on the world's oil supply.

Just last week, near Hormuz, Iran carried out a military exercise blowing up a mock U.S. aircraft carrier. That's just last week, while they're having nuclear talks with the United States. But unfortunately, for the last 36 years, Iran's attacks against the United States have been anything but mock. And the targets have been all too real.

Iran took dozens of Americans hostage in Tehran, murdered hundreds of American soldiers, Marines, in Beirut, and was responsible for killing and maiming thousands of American service men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Beyond the Middle East, Iran attacks America and its allies through its global terror network. It blew up the Jewish community center and the Israeli embassy in Buenos Aires. It helped Al Qaida bomb U.S. embassies in Africa. It even attempted to assassinate the Saudi ambassador, right here in Washington, D.C.

In the Middle East, Iran now dominates four Arab capitals, Baghdad, Damascus, Beirut and Sanaa. And if Iran's aggression is left unchecked, more will surely follow. So, at a time when many hope that Iran will join the community of nations, Iran is busy gobbling up the nations.

We must all stand together to stop Iran's march of conquest, subjugation and terror.

Now, two years ago, we were told to give President Rouhani and Foreign Minister Zarif a chance to bring change and moderation to Iran. Some change! Some moderation!

Rouhani's government hangs gays, persecutes Christians, jails journalists and executes even more prisoners than before.

Last year, the same Zarif who charms Western diplomats laid a wreath at the grave of Imad Mughniyeh. Imad Mughniyeh is the terrorist mastermind who spilled more American blood than any other terrorist besides Osama bin Laden. I'd like to see someone ask him a question about that.

Iran's regime is as radical as ever, its cries of ``Death to America,'' that same America that it calls the ``Great Satan,'' as loud as ever. Now, this shouldn't be surprising, because the ideology of Iran's revolutionary regime is deeply rooted in militant Islam, and that's why this regime will always be an enemy of America.

Don't be fooled. The battle between Iran and ISIS doesn't turn Iran into a friend of America.

Iran and ISIS are competing for the crown of militant Islam. One calls itself the Islamic Republic. The other calls itself the Islamic State. Both want to impose a militant Islamic empire first on the region and then on the entire world. They just disagree among themselves who will be the ruler of that empire.

In this deadly game of thrones, there's no place for America or for Israel, no peace for Christians, Jews or Muslims who don't share the Islamist medieval creed, no rights for women, no freedom for anyone.

So when it comes to Iran and ISIS, the enemy of your enemy is your enemy.

The difference is that ISIS is armed with butcher knives, captured weapons and YouTube, whereas Iran could soon be armed with intercontinental ballistic missiles and nuclear bombs. We must always remember -- I'll say it one more time -- the greatest dangers facing our world is the marriage of militant Islam with nuclear weapons. To defeat ISIS and let Iran get nuclear weapons would be to win the battle, but lose the war. We can't let that happen.

But that, my friends, is exactly what could happen, if the deal now being negotiated is accepted by Iran. That deal will not prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. It would all but guarantee that Iran gets those weapons, lots of them.

Let me explain why. While the final deal has not yet been signed, certain elements of any potential deal are now a matter of public record. You don't need intelligence agencies and secret information to know this. You can Google it.
Absent a dramatic change, we know for sure that any deal with Iran will include two major concessions to Iran.

The first major concession would leave Iran with a vast nuclear infrastructure, providing it with a short break-out time to the bomb. Break-out time is the time it takes to amass enough weapons-grade uranium or plutonium for a nuclear bomb.

According to the deal, not a single nuclear facility would be demolished. Thousands of centrifuges used to enrich uranium would be left spinning. Thousands more would be temporarily disconnected, but not destroyed.

Because Iran's nuclear program would be left largely intact, Iran's break-out time would be very short -- about a year by U.S. assessment, even shorter by Israel's.

And if -- if Iran's work on advanced centrifuges, faster and faster centrifuges, is not stopped, that break-out time could still be shorter, a lot shorter.

True, certain restrictions would be imposed on Iran's nuclear program and Iran's adherence to those restrictions would be supervised by international inspectors. But here's the problem. You see, inspectors document violations; they don't stop them.

Inspectors knew when North Korea broke to the bomb, but that didn't stop anything. North Korea turned off the cameras, kicked out the inspectors. Within a few years, it got the bomb.

Now, we're warned that within five years North Korea could have an arsenal of 100 nuclear bombs.

Like North Korea, Iran, too, has defied international inspectors. It's done that on at least three separate occasions -- 2005, 2006, 2010. Like North Korea, Iran broke the locks, shut off the cameras.

Now, I know this is not gonna come a shock -- as a shock to any of you, but Iran not only defies inspectors, it also plays a pretty good game of hide-and-cheat with them.

The U.N.'s nuclear watchdog agency, the IAEA, said again yesterday that Iran still refuses to come clean about its military nuclear program. Iran was also caught -- caught twice, not once, twice -- operating secret nuclear facilities in Natanz and Qom, facilities that inspectors didn't even know existed.

Right now, Iran could be hiding nuclear facilities that we don't know about, the U.S. and Israel. As the former head of inspections for the IAEA said in 2013, he said, ``If there's no undeclared installation today in Iran, it will be the first time in 20 years that it doesn't have one.'' Iran has proven time and again that it cannot be trusted. And that's why the first major concession is a source of great concern. It leaves Iran with a vast nuclear infrastructure and relies on inspectors to prevent a breakout. That concession creates a real danger that Iran could get to the bomb by violating the deal.

But the second major concession creates an even greater danger that Iran could get to the bomb by keeping the deal. Because virtually all the restrictions on Iran's nuclear program will automatically expire in about a decade.

Now, a decade may seem like a long time in political life, but it's the blink of an eye in the life of a nation. It's a blink of an eye in the life of our children. We all have a responsibility to consider what will happen when Iran's nuclear capabilities are virtually unrestricted and all the sanctions will have been lifted. Iran would then be free to build a huge nuclear capacity that could product many, many nuclear bombs.

Iran's Supreme Leader says that openly. He says, Iran plans to have 190,000 centrifuges, not 6,000 or even the 19,000 that Iran has today, but 10 times that amount -- 190,000 centrifuges enriching uranium. With this massive capacity, Iran could make the fuel for an entire nuclear arsenal and this in a matter of weeks, once it makes that decision.

My long-time friend, John Kerry, Secretary of State, confirmed last week that Iran could legitimately possess that massive centrifuge capacity when the deal expires.

Now I want you to think about that. The foremost sponsor of global terrorism could be weeks away from having enough enriched uranium for an entire arsenal of nuclear weapons and this with full international legitimacy.

And by the way, if Iran's Intercontinental Ballistic Missile program is not part of the deal, and so far, Iran refuses to even put it on the negotiating table. Well, Iran could have the means to deliver that nuclear arsenal to the far-reach corners of the earth, including to every part of the United States.

So you see, my friends, this deal has two major concessions: one, leaving Iran with a vast nuclear program and two, lifting the restrictions on that program in about a decade. That's why this deal is so bad. It doesn't block Iran's path to the bomb; it paves Iran's path to the bomb.

So why would anyone make this deal? Because they hope that Iran will change for the better in the coming years, or they believe that the alternative to this deal is worse?

Well, I disagree. I don't believe that Iran's radical regime will change for the better after this deal. This regime has been in power for 36 years, and its voracious appetite for aggression grows with each passing year. This deal would wet appetite -- would only wet Iran's appetite for more.

Would Iran be less aggressive when sanctions are removed and its economy is stronger? If Iran is gobbling up four countries right now while it's under sanctions, how many more countries will Iran devour when sanctions are lifted? Would Iran fund less terrorism when it has mountains of cash with which to fund more terrorism?

Why should Iran's radical regime change for the better when it can enjoy the best of both world's: aggression abroad, prosperity at home?

This is a question that everyone asks in our region. Israel's neighbors -- Iran's neighbors know that Iran will become even more aggressive and sponsor even more terrorism when its economy is unshackled and it's been given a clear path to the bomb.

And many of these neighbors say they'll respond by racing to get nuclear weapons of their own. So this deal won't change Iran for the better; it will only change the Middle East for the worse. A deal that's supposed to prevent nuclear proliferation would instead spark a nuclear arms race in the most dangerous part of the planet.

This deal won't be a farewell to arms. It would be a farewell to arms control. And the Middle East would soon be crisscrossed by nuclear tripwires. A region where small skirmishes can trigger big wars would turn into a nuclear tinderbox.

If anyone thinks -- if anyone thinks this deal kicks the can down the road, think again. When we get down that road, we'll face a much more dangerous Iran, a Middle East littered with nuclear bombs and a countdown to a potential nuclear nightmare.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've come here today to tell you we don't have to bet the security of the world on the hope that Iran will change for the better. We don't have to gamble with our future and with our children's future.

We can insist that restrictions on Iran's nuclear program not be lifted for as long as Iran continues its aggression in the region and in the world.

Before lifting those restrictions, the world should demand that Iran do three things. First, stop its aggression against its neighbors in the Middle East. Second...

Second, stop supporting terrorism around the world.

And third, stop threatening to annihilate my country, Israel, the one and only Jewish state.

Thank you. If the world powers are not prepared to insist that Iran change its behavior before a deal is signed, at the very least they should insist that Iran change its behavior before a deal expires.

If Iran changes its behavior, the restrictions would be lifted. If Iran doesn't change its behavior, the restrictions should not be lifted.

If Iran wants to be treated like a normal country, let it act like a normal country.

My friends, what about the argument that there's no alternative to this deal, that Iran's nuclear know-how cannot be erased, that its nuclear program is so advanced that the best we can do is delay the inevitable, which is essentially what the proposed deal seeks to do?

Well, nuclear know-how without nuclear infrastructure doesn't get you very much. A race car driver without a car can't drive. A pilot without a plan can't fly. Without thousands of centrifuges, tons of enriched uranium or heavy water facilities, Iran can't make nuclear weapons.

Iran's nuclear program can be rolled back well-beyond the current proposal by insisting on a better deal and keeping up the pressure on a very vulnerable regime, especially given the recent collapse in the price of oil.

Now, if Iran threatens to walk away from the table -- and this often happens in a Persian bazaar -- call their bluff. They'll be back, because they need the deal a lot more than you do.

And by maintaining the pressure on Iran and on those who do business with Iran, you have the power to make them need it even more. My friends, for over a year, we've been told that no deal is better than a bad deal. Well, this is a bad deal. It's a very bad deal. We're better off without it.

Now we're being told that the only alternative to this bad deal is war. That's just not true. The alternative to this bad deal is a much better deal.

A better deal that doesn't leave Iran with a vast nuclear infrastructure and such a short break-out time. A better deal that keeps the restrictions on Iran's nuclear program in place until Iran's aggression ends.

A better deal that won't give Iran an easy path to the bomb. A better deal that Israel and its neighbors may not like, but with which we could live, literally. And no country ... no country has a greater stake -- no country has a greater stake than Israel in a good deal that peacefully removes this threat.

Ladies and gentlemen, history has placed us at a fateful crossroads. We must now choose between two paths. One path leads to a bad deal that will at best curtail Iran's nuclear ambitions for a while, but it will inexorably lead to a nuclear-armed Iran whose unbridled aggression will inevitably lead to war.

The second path, however difficult, could lead to a much better deal, that would prevent a nuclear-armed Iran, a nuclearized Middle East and the horrific consequences of both to all of humanity.

You don't have to read Robert Frost to know. You have to live life to know that the difficult path is usually the one less traveled, but it will make all the difference for the future of my country, the security of the Middle East and the peace of the world, the peace, we all desire.

My friend, standing up to Iran is not easy. Standing up to dark and murderous regimes never is. With us today is Holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize winner Elie Wiesel.
Elie, your life and work inspires to give meaning to the words, ``never again.''

And I wish I could promise you, Elie, that the lessons of history have been learned. I can only urge the leaders of the world not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

Not to sacrifice the future for the present; not to ignore aggression in the hopes of gaining an illusory peace. But I can guarantee you this, the days when the Jewish people remained passive in the face of genocidal enemies, those days are over.

We are no longer scattered among the nations, powerless to defend ourselves. We restored our sovereignty in our ancient home. And the soldiers who defend our home have boundless courage. For the first time in 100 generations, we, the Jewish people, can defend ourselves.

This is why -- this is why, as a prime minister of Israel, I can promise you one more thing: Even if Israel has to stand alone, Israel will stand.

But I know that Israel does not stand alone. I know that America stands with Israel.

I know that you stand with Israel.

You stand with Israel, because you know that the story of Israel is not only the story of the Jewish people but of the human spirit that refuses again and again to succumb to history's horrors.

Facing me right up there in the gallery, overlooking all of us in this (inaudible) chamber is the image of Moses. Moses led our people from slavery to the gates of the Promised Land.

And before the people of Israel entered the land of Israel, Moses gave us a message that has steeled our resolve for thousands of years. I leave you with his message today, (SPEAKING IN HEBREW), ``Be strong and resolute, neither fear nor dread them.''

My friends, may Israel and America always stand together, strong and resolute. May we neither fear nor dread the challenges ahead. May we face the future with confidence, strength and hope.

May God bless the state of Israel and may God bless the United States of America.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you all.

You're wonderful.

Thank you, America. Thank you. Thank you.

FLORIDA POLICE CHIEF BUSTED IN PROSTITUTION STING

Miami Gardens is looking for a new police chief after Stephen Johnson got caught shelling out $100 for a threesome

BarkGrowlBite | March 1, 2015

On Friday, a couple of women met up with Miami Gardens Police Chief Stephen Johnson at a Dania Beach motel. After he handed them $100 for a 30-minute threesome, Johnson learned the hard way that he had been dealing with some Broward County sheriff’s officers posing as prostitutes. Instead of bedding down with the two women, the hapless top cop spent Friday night in the Broward County jail. He bailed out Saturday morning.

Johnson had responded to a website offering escorts. He was offered one woman for a 30-minute tryst at $80 or two at $100. Naturally, Johnson chose the bargain offer. He also asked for the women to wear heels, saying that he had a fetish for heels.

Jonson told reporters the stress of the job led him to seek out prostitutes. “The stress overwhelmed me and I made a very bad decision.” The City of Miami Gardens quickly relieved Johnson of that stress by firing him.