Wednesday, December 31, 2014

WHY PEARLS BEFORE SWINE IS MY FAVORITE COMIC STRIP


Click on the image to magnify it.

SIT NEXT TO A WOMAN? OY VEY, NEVER!

Airlines flying between the U.S. and Israel are having seating assignment problems because ultra-Orthodox Jewish men will not sit next to women who are not close family members

BarkGrowlBite | December 31, 2015

Ultra-Orthodox Jewish men, like those of the Haredi sect, are prohibited from touching any women other than their wives and close relatives. That has created seat assignment problems for airlines flying between the U.S. and Israel. In one instance, a Haredi man, who was assigned a seat next to a woman, got up as soon as the flight departed for Israel and stood in the aisle for the whole flight.

DELTA AIRLINES FLIGHT FROM NEW YORK’S JFK AIRPORT DELAYED AFTER ULTRA-ORTHODOX JEWISH MEN REFUSE TO SIT NEXT TO WOMEN
Delta Airlines Flight 468 was delayed for 30 minutes because Haredi men refused to sit next to women and the women refused to move, claiming discrimination

By Sarah Gordon

Mail Online
December 30, 2014

A Delta Airlines flight from New York's JFK Airport to Israel was delayed by half an hour when a group of ultra-Orthodox Jewish men refused to sit next to female passengers.

Delta Flight 468, bound for Tel Aviv's Ben Gurion Airport, was reportedly held up due to several Haredi passengers refusing to to sit in their assigned seats, which were in between two women.

The delay was prolonged when the two female passengers involved reportedly refused to move to accommodate the men's request, claiming discrimination.

According to Israel Radio, the stand-off was eventually resolved when an American travelling to Israel offered to change seats.

Ultra-Orthodox Jews cannot touch members of the opposite sex unless they are close relatives or a spouse.

It is not the first time an international flight has been delayed due to issues about seat arrangements.

In September, passengers flying with Israeli airline El Al from New York reported a delay when Haredi passengers refused to sit next to women and reportedly went as far as offering them money to move.

Fellow passengers reported men standing in the aisles and refusing to take their seats on the flight to Israel, which was due to land in time for the Jewish New Year.

Amit Ben-Natan, a passenger who was on board the plane, said: 'People stood in the aisles and refused to go forward.'

'Although everyone had tickets with seat numbers that they purchased in advance, they asked us to trade seats with them, and even offered to pay money, since they cannot sit next to a woman. It was obvious that the plane wouldn't take off as long as they keep standing in the aisles.'

Passengers claimed that despite the El Al flight crew informing travellers that they did not have to agree to switch, the plane's captain announced the flight would not be going anywhere until everyone was seated.

Once the flight had departed, one passenger claimed the ultra-Orthodox traveller sat beside her stood in the aisle for the journey rather than return to his assigned seat.

After passengers branded the flight 'an 11 hour-long nightmare', El Al promised to look into the issue and take action if passengers were in breach of safety regulations.

The airline stated: 'The company will examine the complaints and if some passengers are found to have acted out of line the company will examine its future steps.'

Following the flight, female passenger Sharon Shapiro, from Chicago, launched a petition to stop ultra-Orthodox passengers 'bullying, intimidating and discriminating against women'.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

COPS ACCORDING TO LEFT-WING CRAZIES

Cops are out of control murderous assholes

BarkGrowlBite | December 30, 2014

The Daily Kos is a far left website. A post entitled “Is Mayor de Blasio going to be safe?” was published by the Daily Kos on December 21. Its author, who used the pseudonym of xxdr zombiexx, had some choice words for America’s law enforcement officers. His view of cops is probably pretty representative of many on the far-left who were probably fed some of that crap in their college classes.

Here are some excerpts from Dr. Zombie’s post:

It would seem the NYPD blames DeBlasio [for the deaths of officers Ramos and Liu] and not their own heinous contempt for other people's lives.

Cops are NOT taking responsibility for their outrageous and totally unacceptable conduct as every day they seem more like death squads and less like the "public servants" they are.

They are out of control, they are resisting efforts to be reined in, they are extremely defensive of what they see as a RIGHT to kill whomever without being so much as quizzed for doing so.

Cops are bringing this [the ambushes] on themselves and blaming others - protesters, Mayor DeBlasio, Lady Gaga, whomever - does nothing but inflame the problem.

Cops are out of control because they never get charged with their crimes. They get away with murder and everybody around the fucking world knows it.

That has to stop, cops need to be arrested and charged and tried and jailed in large numbers to send THE MESSAGE that these days of Rogue Cop, Inc are over.

And cops OWE AMERICANS A MASSIVE MASSIVE apology.

They do NOT need to be turning their backs on Mayor DeBlasio, they need to turn their back on the PIGS who killed Eric Garner.

They NEED to turn their back on that PIG Darren Wilson.

But they are such shitty people about this, one has to ask: IS Mayor DeBlasio and his family actually safe from these killers at this time?

They sure are mad and they sure are not remotely about to take responsibility for their sins against the People.

None of us are safe from these murderous assholes.

They are out of control.
__________

NOTE: I will say this for Dr. Zombie – he did add this special note at the end of his disgusting tirade:

Please do not hurt the police. This will accomplish nothing and interrupt the process needed to get the police to apologize for their unacceptable conduct.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE

Mail thief Jeremy Webb tried to flee across Washington’s Lake Sammamish in a stolen kayak, but he forgot to take a paddle

BarkGrowlBite | December 28, 2014

Jeremy Webb and his girlfriend Desiree Segar went into the mail theft business Christmas Eve, but the business did not get off to a good start.

When neighbors in Sammamish, Washington spotted the couple stealing from their mailboxes, they gave pursuit and boxed in the couple’s mail collection car. Webb fled on foot, leaving his business partner behind. He found a kayak in a yard and dragged it into Lake Sammamish. He started to flee across the lake and paddled furiously to get away. There was just one slight problem. He had to paddle with his hands because in his haste to get away he forgot to take the kayak’s paddle.

Nolan Conway, a Sammamish resident, grabbed his kayak and paddle and took off after the fleeing thief. Webb’s hands were no match for Conway’s paddle. Webb surrendered to Conway when the good citizen caught up to him.

Desiree tried to flee on foot but she did not get very far before she was arrested. Their car was full of stolen letters and parcels. The car too was stolen.

Jimmy is said to be in his 30s, Desiree in her 20s. The mail theft entrepreneurs were charged with suspicion of vehicle and mail theft.

JACK DANIELS, WHO WAS MARRIED BY JUDGE JOHNNY WALKER, NAMES NEWBORN SON JIM BEAM

Louisiana couple Jack Daniels Leathers and Lydia Leathers kept Jack’s family tradition alive by naming their newborn son Jim Beam

BarkGrowlBite | December 28, 2014

A story like this could happen only in America, or rather only in Louisiana. And there are plenty of other boozes they can choose from as names for any future children.

JACK DANIELS AND WIFE SHARE A JIM BEAM
By Aaren Gordon

Houma Today
December 22, 2014

If Jack Daniels and his wife had a child, what would they name it?

One local couple came up with an answer.

Jim Beam Leathers was born Nov. 14 to Jack Daniels Leathers and Lydia Leathers of Gray at Terrebonne General Medical Center.

Jack, 31, and Lydia, 23, said they wanted to continue the whiskey-name tradition Jack's parents started.

“My parents decided they wanted to name their son something to make their parents mad,” Jack said. “And, at the time, my dad was drinking Jack, which he enjoyed. My mom said, 'Why not?' ”

When Jack and Lydia went on their first date, they knew if they ever had children together, they wanted their names to be unique, like Jack's.

“On our first date, we were talking about baby names. We thought Jim Beam would be a good idea,” he said.

The couple wanted to carry on the theme. When they got married, Judge Johnny Walker of Houma officiated the ceremony.

“When Judge Johnny Walker realized that he was marrying Lydia to Jack Daniels, he turned red. We wanted to get in touch with Judge Walker to notify him that Jack Daniels had a son named Jim Beam,” he said.

“I've always tried to do stuff out of the ordinary, to do things differently than other people,” Lydia said. “It's hard to find a name that you like that nobody you know has. It was all Jack's idea. I just went along with it.”

If they have more children, Jack said the tradition won't stop with Jim.

“If we have another child, our second born will be Evan Williams, after the bourbon. If it's a girl, she will be Sherry, like the cooking sherry,” he said.

Growing up with a name like his was an interesting experience for Jack, especially after he enlisted in the Army, he said.

“Nobody believed my name until I showed them my ID,” he said. “When I went into the Army, sergeants would yell, 'How much more American can you get than Jack Daniels?' I went through most of my Army career not hearing my last name because people would call me Jack Daniels.”

Though the couple named their son after a brand of bourbon in good fun, Lydia said they sometimes hear negative comments from people about their choice.

“We get a lot of flack from other people about it,” she said. “At the end of the day, it's our son, and it's what we wanted to do.”

Saturday, December 27, 2014

INTERSECTION OF HARAKIRI AVE. AND KAMIKAZE BLVD.



Actually, this is a time lapse video of Meskel Square in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

VAG STASH NOT RECOMMENDED FOR GOOD HEALTH

Florida woman croaks after stashing crack pipe and crack rocks inside her vagina

BarkGrowlBite | December 27, 2014

On December 16, cops in Babson Park, Florida arrested April Rollison, 31, along with three others on drug charges. A Polk County Jail body scan showed two foreign objects inside her vagina. She was taken to Bartow Regional Medical Center for removal of the objects that turned out to be a glass crack pipe and a vial containing crack rocks. It is believed that while April was in the hospital, she ingested some of the crack cocaine.

After she had been returned to the jail and while she was being booked, April became extremely ill. She was rushed back to the hospital where she remained in critical condition until Monday, when she croaked. Alas, the poor departed April had tested positive for methamphetamine, amphetamine, cocaine and marijuana.

While back in the hospital, April had been charged with possession of cocaine, possession of drug paraphernalia and smuggling contraband into a detention facility.

Family members, who had no contact with April for two years, said she had been using drugs since she was 12-years old.

Let this be a lesson to all. Vag stashes are not recommended for good health. And neither are keister stashes.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

DEAD, DEAD MICHAEL BROWN

Parody of Jim Croce’s Bad, Bad Leroy Brown sparks outrage

BarkGrowlBite | December 24, 2014

Some of you may remember the Jim Croce song Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. Now Gary Fishell, a singer, has written a parody – Dead, Dead Michael Brown – which he performed at the Elks lodge in Glendale, California before 30 retired and active cops during a private party thrown by retired LAPD officer Joe Myers.

Here are Fishell’s lyrics of Dead, Dead Michael Brown:

Michael Brown learned a lesson about a messin'
With a badass policeman
And he's bad, bad Michael Brown
Baddest thug in the whole damn town
Badder than old King Kong
Meaner than a junkyard dog
Two men took to fightin'
And Michael punched in through the door
And Michael looked like some old Swiss cheese
His brain was splattered on the floor
And he's dead, dead Michael Brown
Deadest man in the whole damn town
His whole life's long gone
Deader than a roadkill dog


One of the attendees became outraged that the other cops were laughing during the singing of the parody. He videotaped the performance and sent a copy to TMZ. Now that party has sparked a shitstorm of outrage and the Elks lodge is promising to punish Fishell and any of the cops who are members of the lodge.

I agree with those who say the song is in bad taste. But I disagree that the lyrics are racist, as many of those who are outraged now say. And who can blame the cops for laughing after they have been tarred and feathered over the death of an angelized thug (Brown) and the death of Eric Garner. As to why they laughed when the song is filled with gory descriptions … well that’s just part of the tombstone humor common among cops.

Look for a spooked LAPD to try and take some kind of disciplinary action against the active cops who attended that party.

UPDATE (12-24-14): Just as I predicted, Chief Charlie Beck has directed LAPD's Professional Standards Bureau to identify any active officers that attended the party. Beck said, "Like many of you, I find it offensive & absurd. It does not reflect the values of the LAPD."

And now the witch hunt begins. But, I'll bet that most street cops would admit that, although the song may have been tasteless, they found it to be very funny.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

YOU GOTTA SEE THIS TO BELIEVE IT

YOU CAN'T GET SAUSAGE ANY FRESHER THAN THIS.

WHY I DID NOT GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL

When I was young, I thought I wanted to go to Medical School.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the letters PSIEN and form
the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered ‘spine’ are doctors today, while the rest of us who answered ‘penis’ are sending jokes over the internet.

AL SHARPTON THE ‘RACE PINMP’ AND ‘DISGUSTING PIG’

Actor James Woods blames Shapton, Mayor de Blasio and President Obama for the ambush slaying of NYPD officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu

BarkGrowlBite | December 23, 2014

James Woods has been one of my favorite actors ever since he starred in The Onion Field, the 1979 movie based on Joseph Wambaugh’s book about the 1963 kidnapping of LAPD officers Ian Campbell and Karl Hettinger by two parolees and the subsequent killing of Campbell.

James has acted in a variety of roles from good guy to villain, and he has received two Academy Award nominations. Although a registered Democrat, Woods is a rare Hollywood commodity in that he is a staunch conservative a la Charlton Heston, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. In reaction to the ambush slaying of NYPD officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu, Woods slammed Al Sharpton, Mayor Bill de Blasio and President Obama, blaming them for the deaths of the two cops.

Sharpton was especially singled out. Woods called the racial rabble rouser a “Race Pimp” and a “Disgusting Pig”. Here are some of the tweets he posted Sunday:

“This disgusting pig is DIRECTLY responsible for the murder of two good policemen. No discussion.” (Accompanied by a picture of Sharpton)

“’I’m putting wings on pigs today’ – Cop assassin Ismaaiyl Brimsley. Is Race Pimp Sharpton eating caviar this morning?”

“Mission accomplished:” (Accompanied by a picture of Obama with his left hand on Sharpton’s right shoulder, both grinning)

“#Blue Lives Matter #Turn Your Back (Supporting cops for turning their backs on de Blasio) #De Blasio Resign #Race Hucksters #Pig Sharpton”

I don’t know whether Woods was drunk or sober when he posted those tweets, but in either case James is spot on! And he's got Sharpton pegged exactly for what he is. But now he will never be nominated for another award and he’ll be lucky if he is ever offered another acting part again.

RAVAGES OF GLOBAL WARMING AKA CLIMATE CHANGE

Secretary of State John Kerry blames tsunami and typhoon disasters on climate change

BarkGrowlBite | December 23, 2014

On the 10 th anniversary of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami that devastated parts of the Asian and African coasts, Secretary of State John Kerry spoke about the tsunami and deadly Typhoon Haiyan which struck parts of the Philippines last year:

"It [the tsunami] sounded a warning. We know that many regions are already suffering historic floods and rising sea levels. And scientists have been saying for years that climate change could mean more frequent and disastrous storms, unless we stop and reverse course. Last year I visited the Philippines and saw the devastation of Typhoon Haiyan. It is incomprehensible that that kind of storm — or worse — could become the norm. The time to act on climate change is now — before it’s too late to heed the warning.”

Here is my list of some other disasters that can only be explained as resulting from global warming - or climate change, as Kerry now calls it:

The birth of Al Gore

The appointment of John Kerry as Secretary of State

The election of Barack Obama

The reelection of Barack Obama

Bill Clinton cheating on Hillary

The great divide among the Republicans

The disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight 370

The shooting of Trayvon Martin

The birth of George Zimmerman

The shooting of Michael Brown

The death of Eric Garner

Grand jury fails to indict Darren Wilson

Grand jury fails to indict Daniel Pantaleo

The birth of Jesse Jackson

The birth of Al Sharpton

The election of Bill de Blasio

Gov. Rick Perry’s memory loss

The botched execution of Clayton Lockett

The recession


I can think of dozens more disasters that have obviously been caused by global warming, but by now you should realize that we’ve got to take drastic action to reverse this phenomenal climate change.

Monday, December 22, 2014

HOLIDAY WARNING: DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE

With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. ... That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

FLEEING THE COPS CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

A fleeing driver often crashes because he has more enthusiasm than driving skills

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA Corrections blog
December 15, 2014

Three California fools found out the hard way early Saturday that fleeing the cops, especially in a Kia Soul, is not necessarily a smart thing to do.

The CHP tried to stop the Soul for doing 90 + on the Costa Mesa freeway about 2 a.m. The driver refused to pull over and instead exited onto 17th St. in Tustin at high speed. The driver, utilizing more enthusiasm than driving skills, slammed into a brick column. The four-wheeled box did a couple of tuck-and-rolls and burst into flames.

The cops managed to get one suspect out of the carbeque alive. The others, not so much.

Monday, December 15, 2014

NEW POLICE DOGS FOR FERGUSON

The Ferguson Police Department announced this morning that all its German shepherd police dogs will be replaced by coon dogs because the city is not having any problems with Germans.



Warning: If you laughed at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Jeremiah Wright will be comin' over to deal with your racist, cracker ass.

CIA TORTURE REACTION MEASURED

Sunday, December 14, 2014

PRIEST GIVES DRUNK A HARD TIME, THEN APOLOGIZES

A drunk man who smelled of booze sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, “My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned.” Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I’m very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

ELKS OR KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS?

Two hunters are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"

"Aw shit," says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"

Thursday, December 11, 2014

SANTA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, I WANT ONE!

A company called TRACKING-POINT in Austin is manufacturing the ultimate firearm. They took an average shooter and went one on one against Army snipers. They outshot every sniper the army put up against them every time. The market is originally for the hard core hunter who wants that fantastic one time shot at the super trophy. The Army is looking seriously at their technology and will probably buy.

Believe it or not they have more orders than they can keep up with. The guns are made in many different calibers as you can see form their web site. You’ll need the big bucks. The guns range in price from $7,000 to $27, 000 dollars. The ammo is $8.00 a round. Take a look!

The video has a number of segments, so don't stop it at the end of the first one.



Their website is: www.tracking-point.com

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

WHERE TO MEET FOR LUNCH

A group of golfing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the course, the waitresses were young, good looking, showed lots of cleavage and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, in their 50s, the golfing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, in their 60s, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, in their 70s, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, in their 80s, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they didn’t think they had ever been there before.

RECTAL FEEDING OF AL QAEDA DETAINEE

The torture report released by the Senate reveals that at least five detainees were rectally fed and watered by CIA agents

BarkGrowlBite | December 10, 2014

The torture report revealed that CIA agents rectally fed and watered at least five detainees.

One detainee, Majid Khan, had a pureed lunch of hummus, pasta with sauce and raisins rectally infused while being held at a secret ‘salt pit’ in Kabul, Afghanistan.

Khan, an American, joined al Qaeda after graduating from a high school near Baltimore and admitted he planned to blow up gasoline tanks in the U.S.

The Senate may have made a mistake in accusing the CIA of torturing Khan. I believe I can explain the rectal feeding. The CIA agents interrogating Khan simply failed to tell the difference between his head and his ass.

KNUCKLEHEADS IN BLUE CONFRONT OPEN-CARRY KNUCKLEHEAD

Houston cops and open-carry protester can’t see eye-to-eye and the cops tried to erase his cellphone video recording of the confrontation but were not tech-savvy enough to do it

BarkGrowlBite | December 10, 2014

Recently an open-carry protester carrying an AR-15 and a large poster sign was standing on the corner of Bay Area and Reseda in the Clear Lake subdivision of Houston. He was also carrying a cellphone with a video camera and a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Apparently he scared some people because two Houston police patrol cars rolled up. The protester starts videoing the scene.

A confrontation takes place. One cop throws the poster sign to the ground. The cops tell him he’s scaring people to death and ask for his ID. The protester says he doesn’t have any ID on him but he does tell them his name. The cops say they have no way of knowing if that is his true name or if he is a felon who is prohibited from owning any firearms. They ask him to put the AR-15 down. He replies that he won’t ‘consent’ to that. The cops then take the protester’s gun anyway and inform him that he’s under arrest for failure to identify.

The back and forth banter continued. According to the Houston Press, “The open carry guy then demands to talk to a damned sheriff or sergeant or something, claiming his rights are being violated.” The cops then threaten to erase the video from his cellphone. The video, which keeps on running, briefly shows the cops trying to erase it from the phone. They were obviously not tech-savvy enough because the protester has released the four-minute clip for everyone to see.

I do not know how the case was disposed of. Court rulings allow citizens to videotape cops at work and require the police to obtain a search warrant before accessing a citizen’s cellphone. Texas’s law requires a person to provide their name, residence address and date of birth if lawfully arrested and asked by police, but a detained person – the protester in this case - is not required to provide any identifying information.

All this took place only a few blocks from my home. It looks as though what we have here is a bunch of knuckleheads confronting each other.

Monday, December 8, 2014

REV. AL SHARPTON, THE MIRACLE WORKER

Letter to the Editor

I have always questioned if Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton were really preachers since they have no church.

When I heard Al Sharpton was the guest preacher at a black church in the Bronx, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about. So I drove from my Long Island suburban home to the church.

I sat down and Sharpton came up to me - I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church. He laid his hands on my head and said: "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."

I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on my head again, and repeated the same thing. Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.

After the service I stepped outside and damned if he wasn’t right. My Lexus had been stolen!

BARCELONA ZOO LIONS PLAY CATCH WITH NEO-NAZI NUTCASE

No ‘Sieg Heil’ for neo-Nazi who climbed into lion’s exhibit and had to be rescued by firefighters after lions played with him for 20 minutes

A Spanish neo-Nazi nutcase climbed into the lion’s exhibit at the Barcelona Zoo where the cats played catch with him for 20 minutes. He was covered in scratches and bite marks when rescued by firefighters who used hoses to break up the lions’ game. Sorry, but no ‘sieg heils’ this time.

MAN SERIOUSLY INJURED WHILE BEING MAULED BY THREE LIONS AT BARCELONA ZOO AFTER HE JUMPED INTO THEIR ENCLOSURE
Man entered the lion enclosure at Barcelona Zoo in army dress, positioned himself in front of lioness and was dragged into a tunnel by the animals before being rescued

By Jennifer Smith

Mail Online
December 7, 2014

A man has been left with serious injuries after jumping into a lion enclosure at Barcelona zoo where he was picked mauled by three of the animals.

Dressed in military uniform, the man climbed over railings and began scaling one of the walls in the enclosure before being picked off by one of the animals and thrown into a pit.

The 45-year-old was rescued around 30 minutes later covered in scratches and bite marks. He was taken to the city's Hospital de la Vall D'Hebron where he remains in a serious but not life-threatening condition.

According to Spanish reports, the man climbed over fencing to enter the enclosure as horrified tourists watched on.

Footage of the bizarre incident shows him scaling one of the enclosure's walls before being tossed by the leg into a pit by a lioness.

He emerged some 30 minutes later after fire fighters used hoses to fight the animals off of him.

According to local reports, the man, named by El Pais as Justo Jose MP, is a neo-Nazi demonstrator.

He was arrested last month in the city centre after draping banners emblazoned with Swastikas over the famous Casa Mila building in an anti-abortion protest.

It is not known whether the incident at the zoo was a demonstration, though fire fighters said the man could not have entered the enclosure accidentally.

'The security system makes it impossiblef for a person to fall into the enclosure. It cannot have been by accident, to enter (the enclosure) you have to want to go in,' said chief fire fighter of the Bomberos de Barcelona, Hector Carmona.

While he emerged from the enclosure covered in bite marks and scratches, zoo keepers have insisted the lions were merely trying to play with him, Spanish news outlet 20minutos reports.

'The intention was not to kill him, they were just trying to play with him, Ignasi Armengol, director of Barcelona Municipal Services said.'

Sunday, December 7, 2014

TODAY IS PEARL HARBOR DAY

Today few Americans will pay homage to or care about what happened on December 7, 1941

BarkGrowlBite | December 7, 2014

On December 7, 1941, 353 Japanese warplanes launched from six aircraft carriers attacked the U.S. Naval Base at Pearl Harbor, sinking four battleships, seriously damaging four others, sinking or damaging eight other warships, and destroying 188 U.S. warplanes.

2,403 Americans were killed and 1,178 others were wounded in the attack on Pearl Harbor. Nearly half of the casualties occurred on the battleship USS Arizona which blew up and sank after being hit by four Japanese bombs.

Today few Americans will pay homage to the attack on Pearl Harbor. Instead, hundreds of thousands and thousands will pay homage to two African-Americans who died at the hands of the police, one a dope smoking thug and the other a career criminal with a record of 31 arrests. What a downright dirty shame!

Saturday, December 6, 2014

HERB’S WINKY

Herb decided to propose to Sandy , but prior to her acceptance Sandy felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old.

He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much. However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too.

Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem. My winky is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with that once we are married.'

She said, 'Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size winky..'

Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon. Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another.

As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.

She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'

'Yes, it is ... 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 19 inches long.'

Thursday, December 4, 2014

ANTI-ISIS IED

GOOD THINKING BRO

NANCY AND HARRY’S LABRADOR RETRIEVER

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!"

"Great Nancy , but how?" asked Harry.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"

"Yes, we are!" said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

"Shit no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

This guy brings his best golfing buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade.

"My bloody hair and makeup are not done, the house is a fucking mess, the dishes aren't done. Can't you see I'm still in my fucking pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the fuck did you bring him home unannounced you fucking idiot?"

"Because he's thinking of getting married."

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

COSBY LAWYER ASKS WHY ACCUSERS DIDN’T COME FORWARD TO BE SMEARED BY LEGAL TEAM YEARS AGO

The Onion | December 3, 2014

LOS ANGELES—Responding to recent allegations that his client sexually assaulted as many as 20 women over the course of his career, an attorney for comedian Bill Cosby asked Wednesday why none of the alleged victims came forward and allowed themselves to be smeared by the entertainer’s powerful attorneys years ago.

“One has to wonder why all these claims are being made now, when these women very easily could have spoken up 40 years ago and had my client’s legal team ruin them,” said Cosby lawyer Martin Singer, suggesting that if the assertions were indeed true, the purported victims have had more than ample time to let Cosby’s team of high-priced legal advisors assassinate their character and threaten them with countersuits for defamation. “It’s highly suspect that these women didn’t go public decades ago, when Mr. Cosby could have used his considerable influence to sabotage any chance these women had at a career in show business and obliterate their credibility in media outlets that were utterly smitten with him.”

Singer went on to say that he wouldn’t be surprised if other alleged victims surfaced, even though there wasn’t much left that could be done to destroy them.

Monday, December 1, 2014

CHRIS ROCK WANTS TO INTERVIEW WHITE COPS

He wants to know why white cops never shoot white kids

BarkGrowlBite | December 1, 2014

CBS Sunday Morning had a Q&A segment between Mo Rocca and standup comedian Chris Rock. When Rock said he would like to work on the CBS TV show 60 Minutes, Rocca asked him, “If you did a story on 60 Minutes and you could interview anyone, who would you want to interview?”

Here is Chris Rock’s reply:

I would go to Ferguson right now and I would just interview white people. Whenever they do stories on race, they always interview black people. We know what black people feel about it. I would love to just interview white cops. The question isn’t why they shoot so many black kids, which is horrible. The real question is, how come you never shoot white kids? That’s the question.

Now if I were that cop, I would answer the question this way:

Chirs, we do shoot white kids. The trouble is that you never hear about it because when we do, it only makes the local news. But whenever we shoot a black kid, it sets off a national media frenzy that implies the shooting was racially motivated. No cop wants to shoot anyone – white, black, brown or purple – and especially not any kids, but sometimes our perception of their actions leave us no choice. Put yourself in our shoes. As a cop, what would you do if you feared that some kid was about to take your life?

CLASSLESS AND CLUELESS COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR

Elizabeth Lauten, communications director for a Republican congressman, was classless in her criticism of Malia, 16, and Sasha Obama, 13, and was obviously clueless as to what a faux pas she was committing

BarkGrowlBite | December 1, 2014

Dear Sasha and Malia, I get you’re both in those awful teen years, but you’re a part of the First Family, try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play. Then again your mother and father don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department. Nevertheless, stretch yourself. Rise to the occasion. Act like being in the White House matters to you. Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar. And certainly don’t make faces during televised public events.

So wrote Elizabeth Lauten, a former media director for the Republican National Committee and now communications director for Rep. Stephen Fincher (R-Tenn.), on her Facebook page after she saw a picture of the traditional turkey pardoning ceremony at the White House. Lauten obviously took offense at how Malia, 16, and Sasha Obama, 13, were dressed and the faces they made during the ceremony.

After receiving a shit-storm of criticism, Lauten deleted the offensive Facebook page and gave this contrived apology:

When I first posted on Facebook I reacted to an article and I quickly judged the two young ladies in a way that I would never have wanted to be judged myself as a teenager," she wrote. "After many hours of prayer, talking to my parents, and re-reading my words online I can see more clearly just how hurtful my words were.

Sorry, Ms. Lauten, but your apology does not sound genuine. It seems obvious that you hate Obama, which is your right, but taking your hatred out on his teenage daughters is beyond the pale. You are the one that is classless, not the Obama girls. And at the time, you were obviously clueless as to what a faux pas you were committing.

Lauten, a former media director for the Republican National Committee? The communications director for a Republican congressman? With spokespersons like Lauten, it’s no wonder that the Republicans keep losing the presidential elections.